Obstacles as Opportunities

A little child loves a good opportunity. Mom leaves the room? The cookie jar is unguarded. The counter is too high? Pshh... I can just stack pots and pans so I can climb up. Any obstacle becomes a challenge, an opportunity to conquer. I'm not sure at what age that starts to fade in us. I remember when I was seven or eight, my sisters and I thought it would be really fun to tie me up in multiple ropes and see if I could escape (we had just seen a movie about Houdini). Suddenly my sisters transformed into Navy sailors with astonishing knot tying abilities. And with pride I can tell you that I became Houdini that afternoon--I wiggled, twisted, and freed myself from every single knot.

At sixteen I had begun the college search in earnest, researching, comparing, and arranging campus visits like a pro. The summer before my senior year, I spent some time checking out universities in D.C before starting my summer program there. My aunt dropped me off in the city on her way to work and I walked and took the bus all over D.C. Alone. At 16 years old. Fearless. I was so excited for the opportunities before me that any obstacles were quickly pushed aside.

I can't seem to put my finger on a day or a moment when that approach to challenges became less instinctive. I think we all experience a time or have a certain situation in which we start to brace ourselves for the worst when a difficult obstacles appears in our path. The fears start to creep in, the doubt and uncertainty in our own abilities, and the questioning of divine help. The baggage we carry around from life experience, if not properly handled, can start to cloud our vision of the opportunities before us.

The story of young Nephi, the son of Lehi, in the Book of Mormon is the perfect example of this phenomenon. The Lord commanded Lehi to take his family out of Jerusalem and flee into the wilderness. With every commandment given to them during this time, there was an obstacle or a difficulty to overcome. Obtaining the plates of brass required going through a process to follow the guidance of the Spirit and get the plates from Laban. The challenges they faced such as breaking their bows, building a ship, gaining direction in their travels, etc, all provided opportunities for them to rise up, increase their faith, and draw closer to the Lord.

Ok, this is the point in the post I had reach before my wonderful trip to California. But I was so excited and distracted I didn't finish putting all my thoughts together. Now I'm glad I didn't because I had some great challenges that became opportunities, and because I had been thinking about how I wanted to face these challenges I was able to find the blessings behind it. Upon arriving at the Oakland airport all excited last Friday morning, I took the shuttle over to the car rental plaza to pick up my rental. I made these reservations months ago and paid for everything in full beforehand. However, upon arriving there were some problems with the rental. Long story short, they wouldn't give me my rental and other companies would charge me an arm and a leg to do so at short notice and because a big convention was in town. So I found myself in a big city that I've never been in, trying to figure out how to get from downtown Oakland to Walnut Creek. I reflected on our discussion in institute about doing all we can so after praying for guidance, I tried everything I could think of to make it work. When that didn't work, I came up with an alternate plan and prayed for guidance. I gave myself a very "edna-like" pep talk and took the shuttle back to the airport. From there I took the the bus to the metro station (called Bart in the Bay area), and took the metro north switching lines along the way before arriving in the correct city. After leaving the metro station I got lost looking for the hotel, but finally made my way there. Quite the adventurous first day.

Not always in these kind of situations are the blessings immediately apparent, but I feel that this time they were. Because I didn't have a rental car, I carpooled with other bridesmaids and the bride's family to the dance, the sealing, and the reception, not the mention when we went into San Francisco. Having my own rental car might have isolated myself in a situation where I already didn't know very many people. Also, later on my hotel reservation for an extra night was mixed up so my friend offered to let me stay with her family. Doing so became one of my favorite parts of the entire trip. I will blog more about the trip later ( it will probably encompass multiple posts because of the incredible nature of it all).

Heavenly Father gives us opportunities to learn, to act upon our faith, to trust Him, and to follow the Spirit. Sometimes, when the "mists of darkness" cloud our vision, all we can see are obstacles and frustrations. But I know with all my heart that because He loves us, he lets us learn through experience, allows us to do all we can and rely on the Savior so we can become more like Him.

The Day Before

I don't remember much about September 10th, 2001. I know what the routine was, I remember we were starting a unit about ancient Egypt in class, and I vaguely remember my mom was late to pick us up to carpool home. And yet, the next day is burned into my memory as it is on millions of others. We don't know the day before tragedy hits or the day before we meet the love of our life. We can only live life one day at a time.

December 6th 1941 was just another winter day. October 28th 1929 was a crisp fall day. November 21, 1963 was full of Thanksgiving preparations. Today, December 7th, October 29th and November 22nd are big letter days in our history textbook marking the attack on Pearl Harbor, the stock market crash on Black Tuesday, and the assassination of John F. Kennedy. But the day before we didn't know our lives would change forever.

I am a firm believer in remembering and learning from the past, in loving and enjoying the present, and in planning and preparing for the future. They each have their place in the balance of our lives; too much emphasis on any one time frame and we run into all sorts of trouble. Holding onto the past, whether the grievances and mistakes, or the glory days of old, keeps us from progressing and becoming who we are meant to be. Living only for today (yolo) can lead to selfishness as we distance ourselves from the lessons we need to learn from the past and the preparations we need to prepare for the future. And if we find ourselves planning and preparing only for what is to come, we will miss the beautiful daily joys.

I don't have a magic formula for creating this harmonic blend of all three in my life. I don't have all the answers. But today I am reflecting on how grateful I am for the lessons I've learned since that tragic September morning 13 years ago. And as I have studied World War II and the Holocaust over the past 15 years, I have seen a remarkable similarity in tragic and trying times; at the very times we are seeing the worst of humanity (terrorism, genocide), we also see the most incredible displays of heroism, selflessness, and love.

I love the quote by Winston Churchill:“To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.”

We don't know the day before our lives change drastically, but when we treasure the small daily changes I believe we gain a much wider perspective on life. It doesn't need to be about the day before, today, or the day after. Life is about all of it together and how it influences each of us.

The Peter Potential

"We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking...We are all meant to shine... We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; It's in everyone."- Marianna Williamson

Besides being one of my all time favorite quotes, this is how the new book, The Peter Potential, by David Butler and Emily Belle Freeman starts. And perhaps the apostle Peter illustrates this principle better than anyone else. Peter's journey from ordinary fisherman to the chief disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ is nothing short of miraculous. The Lord teaches, invites, and guides Peter to help him grow, progress, and become who the Lord knew he could become. Doesn't the Lord do that with all of us? He sees us as we really are. He knows our hearts, our minds, our desires, our dreams, our weaknesses and strengths. And when we give all of that to him, He makes us more. As the book says, "If the Lord can do great things with a single loaf [of bread], imagine what he can do with a single life."

This is not a rare development-this is Heavenly Father's pattern of loving and teaching His children. This week in my Book of Mormon institute class we were in 1 Nephi 3-4 studying the process Nephi and his brothers go through to obtain the plates. We talked about why the Lord didn't have them get the plates before leaving Jerusalem- He knew they needed them from the beginning. They are many reasons or ideas as to why, but the one that stuck out most to me was that the Lord needed to allow them the faith building experiences that would come as a result. Learning how to trust in the Lord, how to follow the Spirit, and many other lessons were planted deep in Nephi during this journey. The Lord was building Nephi into the prophet, offering the opportunity of faith for Laman and Lemuel, giving Sariah and Lehi a chance to put their trust in Him and know for a surety that this was His plan for them. God loved this family so much he gave them faith-building, soul-stretching opportunities. He does the same with each of us.

We see it in the story of Alma the Younger and his incredible conversion- the Lord saw his potential to do good and change millions of lives. In the stories of his converts, Amulek and Zeezrom, with the brother of Jared, with the life of Saul/Paul, with each and every story of young prophets and kings- Samuel, David, Enoch, etc. Maybe their communities told them they were nothing special, but the Lord said otherwise.

All my life, people have told me I'm smart. Smart or intelligent being the key words, not beautiful or funny. I like being smart and I work hard to be smart. I love to learn and discover, but rather than pure intelligence, most of it comes from just work and study. There was a time when I tried to define myself by what my brain could decipher, create, and figure out; when I thought I could measure my worth by the number of recognitions, awards, test scores, and rankings. Certain setbacks made me step back and realize that it was only a part of me.

So I started to concentrate more on relationships-forming lasting and loving relationships. I have a lot of love to give and sometimes I give too much. I try so hard to be loyal and supportive and dependable and sometimes I feel like I don't get back the same amount of effort and love in relationships. I feel like I've failed in many relationships, including most of my romantic ones. That can be a post for another time, but I include this because for awhile I tried to define myself exclusively by the quality and success of my relationships.

These are just two examples. I didn't need the Divergent series to tell me I want to be more than more thing. I'm not just a scientist, or a teacher, or selfless, or generous. I want to be all of those. I can be all of those things and more because of Jesus Christ. Because of the Savior, I can change, grow, and progress like Peter. I can become who He needs me to become. And like the opening quote reminds us, we are are children of God and we are meant to shine.

Where did August go?

It's September.

I LOVE September. It is a beautiful glorious month. (Something I keep reminding myself as all the angry people start calling at work.)

But where did August go? My life was rearranged completely last month which may contribute to the loss of time. It was my first full month of driving stick shift, which is coming along quite nicely apart from getting stuck on hills from time to time. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I feel like I'm always in control, and it has definitely given me more respect for my vehicle. I also gained three new roommates! My beautiful sister, Sheena (formerly nicknamed Aurora here), and two crazy furry friends have turned my quaint one-bedroom apartment into a world of adventure and mystery, and yes, chaos. Yuki, the nine-month old Lab mix, is as cute as can be, barks at everything, and is skittish around strangers (she's warming up to me). Camo, Aurora's cat, is the bane of my existence at the moment. Outraged at being shut out of the bedroom ( due to my cat allergy), she meows at the bedroom door at 1am, 3am, and 5am, or at any other interval she decided upon. And as clean and tidy as we are trying to be, the car fur has me sneezing and my eyes watering. The things we do for sisters.

Whatever sorrow I'm feeling at the passing of August is swallowed in the joy and excitement I have for September! First of all, my mission companion, Hermanita Fletcher, comes home tomorrow!! Woot woot! I am so excited to see her and all her awesomeness : ) Then, fingers crossed that it all works out, several other friends are coming down for her homecoming so I will get to see even more mission friends. Man, I really miss my mission.

After that, September is filled with more glorious weddings. Two I get to attend and one that I cannot. ( Sorry Garth & Bailey- I'm sending lots of love your way!) This Friday brings the wedding of two good friends which will be really great. (Grilled cheese anyone? Ladies- you know what I'm talking about ; ) And then in two weeks I get to go to California!!!! Two of my favorite people, Fusi and David are getting married in the Oakland temple and I couldn't be more excited if it was my own wedding (ok, only a little bit). Fusi, another one of my beloved mission companions, is Tongan and her fiancee is Colombian so please just try to imagine the wonderful culture infusion that will be their wedding. Definitely bringing my dancing shoes. Plus, I'm really excited to see other friends from the mission! It will be my first time in California period and I'm excited to visit the beach and explore a little. If anyone has suggestions on what to do in the San Francisco/Oakland area, I am all ears.

I know I owe ya'll some pictures of my adorable new roommates and all my new adventures so I am working on it. Pictures to come. Meanwhile, check out this article about Elder Enzio Busche. I love this quote by him. “The adversary’s greatest power is to give us fear, to tell us that what the Lord requires will be too uncomfortable, too impossible to do. But as we obey, the Lord will fill us with love and inexpressible joy. Until we subdue ourselves to the Lord, we can only experience frustration and pain. When we do subdue ourselves to his will, we are filled with peace and dignity in all circumstances, no matter how challenging. This, to me, is the greatest victory we can achieve.”