A Voice For Virtue

For those of you who do not use Blogger personally, I am excited to share the new announcement they have made. A banner appeared starting this week announcing that on March 23rd, Blogger will no longer allow sexually explicit material!

In a very tasteful change to their adult content policy, they state "Starting March 23, 2015, you won't be able to publicly share images and videos that are sexually explicit or show graphic nudity on Blogger. Note: We’ll still allow nudity if the content offers a substantial public benefit. For example, in artistic, educational, documentary, or scientific contexts...If your existing blog does have sexually explicit or graphic nude images or video, your blog will be made private after March 23, 2015. No content will be deleted, but private content can only be seen by the owner or admins of the blog and the people who the owner has shared the blog with...."

In recent months, with the spreading wildfire that is Fifty Shades of Grey, the epidemic of pornography and sexual abuse is starkly apparent. An addiction commonly thought to be male-based, this book and recent movie highlight that it is reaching out to an increasingly large female audience. Pornography destroys. It destroys the individuals who read and watch it, those who are involved in making it, and the families of all those affected by it (see my friend's blog for more about this). Pornography degrades respect for what should be sacred human intimacy and lowers self-esteem and self-respect.

Beyond the images and words that as graphic as they are widespread, is an attitude that is becoming harder and harder to combat-- that these choices and lifestyles are acceptable and that explicit sexuality is just an extension of self-expression. In a society that is pushing moral relativism, standing for virtue is like a stone pillar surrounded by quicksand. Elder Christofferson recently explained:

Relativism means each person is his or her own highest authority. Of course, it is not just those who deny God that subscribe to this philosophy. Some who believe in God still believe that they themselves, individually, decide what is right and wrong. One young adult expressed it this way: “I don’t think I could say that Hinduism is wrong or Catholicism is wrong or being Episcopalian is wrong—I think it just depends on what you believe. … I don’t think that there’s a right and wrong.”21 Another, asked about the basis for his religious beliefs, replied, “Myself—it really comes down to that. I mean, how could there be authority to what you believe?”22

To those who believe anything or everything could be true, the declaration of objective, fixed, and universal truth feels like coercion—“I shouldn’t be forced to believe something is true that I don’t like.” But that does not change reality. Resenting the law of gravity won’t keep a person from falling if he steps off a cliff. The same is true for eternal law and justice. Freedom comes not from resisting it but from applying it. That is fundamental to God’s own power. If it were not for the reality of fixed and immutable truths, the gift of agency would be meaningless since we would never be able to foresee and intend the consequences of our actions.

How could there be an authority on the expression of our sexuality?, some people ask. It's something that is natural and beautiful, right? Yes, it is. However, it is also a gift from God that will bring maximum happiness when used according to the guidelines He has set forth. In contrast to the world's view of Latter-day Saint or Christian women as being ashamed and embarrassed by sex, I treasure and cherish my sexuality. And part of that is respecting myself by how I dress and act, waiting until marriage to have sexual relations, and keeping my mind clean from the polluting effects of pornography. I love this excerpt from the family section on www.lds.org.

Heavenly Father created the plan of salvation so that we can experience life, return to His presence, and have joy. Central to this plan are the spiritual, emotional, and physical unity developed in marriage and family life. He gave us the capacity for physical intimacy so that we could strengthen and grow our eternal families. He intends for sex to be a beautiful, powerful, and joyful part of our lives—not something evil or corrupt. Sex enables a husband and a wife to have children, express love, and strengthen their spiritual, emotional, and physical bonds. Sexual intimacy is an important part of marriage, and when it is used in the way that God has commanded, it brings great blessings and joy. While many in the world portray sex as casual or crude, the gospel teaches that sexuality is a powerful gift from Heavenly Father and that it should be used within the bounds He has set, with wisdom and reverence. (Overcoming Pornography Through The Atonement of Jesus Christ)

So, thank you Blogger for taking the step to protect so many from that content. While everyone is entitled to their thoughts and ideas, by making that private you protect countless people from stumbling upon those words and images. Thank you, but it's not enough alone. All of us need to add our voices in defense of virtue, to take a stand for morality and purity. What in our lives needs to be eliminated or changed to do so? Please add your voice for virtue.

@kristi_girasol

New Home!

You know that mixture of relief, exhaustion, and peace that comes after you do something challenging, but oh so good? Definitely feeling all three today. We (Sheena and I) moved this last weekend to a cute 3 bedroom, 2 bath home here in Gilbert. I still can't believe we had that much stuff in our teeny tiny apartment and that we don't hate each other after living in such close proximity for 7 months! I'm so grateful for all the friends who came and pitched in, with muscles, vans/trucks, organizational skills, etc. Thanks to all of you!

Nearly a year ago, when moving into my own little apartment, I posted about my little "home-making"adventures. And I'm excited for this new chapter of home-making, which now includes an actual yard, patio, and pool! I have my temple picture on the mantle, the Family Proclamation in the front entry way, and my Cody Lynn originals entitled "Virtuous Woman" in the hall and "Falling For Eve" in my bedroom, plus a Tiana Burell original "An Active Mind" that I have yet to determine where to display. I have my sunflower canisters proudly displayed in the kitchen and LOTS of empty space with potential. I like potential.

In my apartment, I did the very best with what I had to create a little safe haven and a place where the Spirit could be. However, due to limited space and resources, it wasn't really a place my friends could visit and relax, where I could invite people to dinner, or have game night. In the new home, all those possibilities are wide open. Shoot, right now I could have a dance party in my front room until my couch is delivered! I can have dinners, pool parties, game nights, movie nights, as well as quiet time all to myself in my room. By myself. I guess I've missed personal space as much as having a place for friends and family to come and visit. I'm a big fan of progression, of continually learning and adding to what I already have. This feels like a good step. I'm keeping lots of ideas and things that helped me make my apartment a home and adding new things as other inspiration comes and as these new capabilities allow.

Is that not how we learn in most areas? One step at a time, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. That's how our testimonies are built, how we gain any kind of education, how we build relationships. In a world of fast food, instant messages, and play-by-play updates via social media, we tend to forget that some things can be slow. That they need to be slow. Most worthwhile things take time to develop and mature and I think the secret is to enjoy the journey as well as the goal. I loved my little apartment with my bright yellow kitchen and red wall in the living room and though I won't miss the crowded space, leaking fridge, or sinks that don't drain properly, I am grateful for the experiences I had there. And now I'm excited for this next phase and all that will come with it!

P.S. I should probably have cute pictures to show you of my new house, but I haven't gotten that far yet : ) Coming soon.

Service Scavenger Hunt

So, amidst all the moving to my new little home ( more about that later!), things have been a little hectic. But as my last week rolled around in my beloved ward, I was in charge of FHE ( family home evening). We had originally planned a service project with a wonderful organization, but as things changed for them it no longer worked for that day. Last minute back up was a service scavenger hunt! It's a super simple idea that is fun and can be as long or short as needed.

Here's the template I used, provided by thirtyhandmadedays.com (which is amazing and you should check it out!). But other versions are easy to find on Pinterest. Easy for FHE, mutual activities, and youth conference or girls camp service projects.

We started off singing Hymn #223 "Have I Done Any Good?" and then we talked about examples of service in the scriptures. King Benjamin (Mosiah 2), Ammon (Alma 17-18), the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10), etc

I just wanted to share this cute idea and I'm thinking about starting an FHE series. I've been working on FHE lessons plans lately- putting together lessons and activities for varying age groups. I know there are tons of blogs and pinterest boards with similar themes, but I still want to do it for me.

Me For We

You've probably heard of the campaign- He for She- for gender equality. Well, I would definitely head a group of single people promoting marriage and vice versa. I think I'll call it "I for Us", no-- "Me for We". I don't want to be (so therefore, I will not be) that complaining, woe-is-me, single girl who only blogs about bad dates and well...being single. Especially around Valentines Day when there is true love to celebrate! I won't apologize for writing about being single because that's where I am in life right now, but I'll keep the whiny and woe-is-me to a minimum. I can't write about being married or having kids...yet. But I have shared and will continue to share about love, heartbreak, and loneliness- universal themes whether you're married or single.

You can be lonely and sad while married or single just like you can be happy and joyful when single or married. Somewhere along the line, we've started to separate into groups based on our relationship status and assigning emotions and desires to that. Some people have starting yelling that those who marry young are "missing out" or are "settling". The angry voices return with the idea that those who remain unmarried later in life are selfishly ambitious and absorbed in their careers. And it keeps going back and forth. So I say, this Valentine's Day, let's show a little love all around and not assume the character or dreams of someone based on their marital status.

I have a lot of wonderful friends who are married and have children. In fact, I love following their blogs and facebook posts full of cute pictures and funny things kids say. And more than that, I love watching as they grow as individuals, as couples, and as a family. There is a beauty in the creation of a home and a family. I'm grateful for all the wonderful examples I have in my life of wonderful couples. This quotes by Jeffrey R. Holland reminds us how brave and faithful it is to commit to marriage and family.

Love is a fragile thing, and some elements in life can try to break it. Much damage can be done if we are not in tender hands, caring hands. To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship. It is a real act of faith—faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything—all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys—with another person.

No serious courtship or engagement or marriage is worth the name if we do not fully invest all that we have in it and in so doing trust ourselves totally to the one we love. You cannot succeed in love if you keep one foot out on the bank for safety’s sake. The very nature of the endeavor requires that you hold on to each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together.

On the reverse side, couples need to take care not to minimize the contributions, dreams, and/or struggles of those who are single. Every situation in different. Most single people are actively involved in their families- with parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Many are involved in careers and within the community. While perhaps our understanding of marriage and child-rearing is not as developed, our insights and contributions (both professionally and personally) are significant. The ability and capacity to love is enlarged through many of the varied and multifaceted experiences of single life. Please remember that it takes courage to actively date, to put yourself out there constantly. And it takes a lot of heart to faithfully press on when dreams and plans don't turn out as expected. In the same talk, Jeffrey Holland also said: "Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Or, to phrase that more positively, Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness for you and for your sweetheart. How should I love thee? As He does, for that way “never faileth.”

Love comes in many forms, at different stages in our lives. It's my wish this Valentine's Day, this month, this year- that we recognize the love for everyone regardless of our differences and focus on the elements that bind us together. Love is the great equalizer- it doesn't matter where you live, your age, sex, appearance, relationship status, etc- it will always bring us together.

Birthday Blogging

First of all, I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the calls, texts, messages, emails and Facebook posts wishing me well on my birthday! Not only is the outpouring of love wonderful, but it gives me an opportunity to reconnect with great friends that live in various states. So thank you for that gift. As my favorite heroine once said, "True friends are always together in spirit. " ( Anne Shirley)

I am happy. By nature, I'm a happy person I think, but lately I've been concentrating on being truly, down in-the-gut, in my very core kind of happy. And I am. At many times in my life, I've been "here". However, recent events caused some digging and soul-searching, some "spring cleaning" for the soul to get rid of outdated baggage and attachments. And yeah, I know that's annoying vague, but it's not really the focus on my birthday : ) So, I just wanted to say that I am really really happy to be me, on the beautiful sunny days like today (I mean, first time ever to have 70 degrees on my birthday!) and even on the stormy hailing days.That being said, when I'm this happy I can't help but share the joy. So I just wanted to share a few of my favorite things...

*Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens... just kidding. Ok, at least the first part ; )

*  At midnight this morning (you know what I mean), I was listening to the soundtrack from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, and it played the song "Here I Am" just as it became my birthday. It made me happy. I love the lyrics: "It's a new world, it's a new start. It's alive with the beating of young hearts, It's a new day, it's a new plan, I've been waiting for you Here I am. Here I am."

* Every time I walk into my apartment, right in front of me is my bright yellow wall with a large picture of the temple in the center. Yellow makes me happy. The temple makes me incredibly wonderfully happy. Elder Richards once said, "A temple is a retreat from the vicissitudes of life, a place of prayer and meditation providing an opportunity to receive inner peace, inspiration, guidance, and, frequently, solutions to the problems that vex our daily lives. A temple is a place where the divine spark in man, or the infinite in man, can seek the infinite in God."

* Nutella. Multiple spoonfuls of it.

* Friends with whom I can have experimental dinners, show up at their doors and cry, take great vacations, travel across the country for, and always lean on when I need some support.

* Movies that never get old. Like West Side Story ( I feel pretty, oh so pretty...) Or Pride and Prejudice. And Bourne Identity or Italian Job ( Fine- freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional).

And that hilarious movie like Surfa Ninjas- "Money can't buy knives."

* And places on Earth that make you feel like you've found a little piece of heaven.

 

* And more than any of that, the Atonement of Jesus Christ is what allows me to be anchored, to find this kind of deep joy and happiness that I cannot find anywhere else. One of my favorite quotes is by Chieko Okazaki about how individual the Atonement is. Not only does he know my pains and fears, struggles and challenges, but he knows my triumphs and happy dances.

"Well, my dear sisters, the gospel is the good news that can free us from guilt. We know that Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It’s our faith that he experienced everything- absolutely everything. Sometimes we don’t think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don’t experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That means he knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer- how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced the gas chambers at Dachau. He experienced Napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism....He knows all that. He’s been there. He’s been lower than all that. He’s not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don’t need a Savior. He came to save his people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He’s not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief. "

 

And because He knows all of that, all of me, I am truly happy.

Here's sharing some of my birthday happiness with ya'll!

Just a Bit of Musicophilia

While being highly interpretive, The Websters definition of music is a typical example: "the science or art of ordering tones or sounds in succession, in combination, and in temporal relationships to produce a composition having unity and continuity" (Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, online edition). And "philia", in Greek, denotes the fondness, affection, or love for a certain thing. Thus, musicophilia by definition is the love of organized sound and/or music. In reality it might be a little deeper than it appears.

Oliver Sacks, the author of a book entitled Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain, is also a practicing physician, and professor of neurology and psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center. I first picked up the book in the name of research for my volunteering with a hospice organization, specifically with music enhanced therapy. In the preface, he mentions a novel by Arthur C Clarke, Childhood's End, in which an alien race visits Earth in an attempt to understand the human fascination with "playing and listening to meaningless tonal patterns". They, a race without music, see no biological or adaptive purpose to this exercise. But Sacks goes on to explain--

But for virtually all of us, music has great power, whether or not we seek it out or think of ourselves as particularly "musical". This propensity to music- this "musicophila"- shows itself in infancy, is manifest and central in every culture, and probably goes back to the very beginnings of our species. It may be developed or shaped by the cultures we live in, by the circumstance of life, or by the -particular gifts or weaknesses we have as individuals--but it lies so deep in human nature that one is tempted to think of it as innate...

We listen to, play, study, and create music both actively and passively in our daily lives. However, "there is no single "music center" in the brain, but the involvement of a dozen scattered networks throughout the brain." Utilizing various parts of the brain, new connections are formed through music. For example, the left frontal lobe identifies facts and patterns while the right frontal lobe love creativity, the occipital lobes processed what you see ad the auditory complex process what you hear, meanwhile the amygdala gauges emotional reactions and the hippocampus connects all of that to memories and experiences. For this very reason, music therapy is highly effective in helping Parkinson, Alzheimer, and Huntington patients as well as many conditions affecting muscle coordination as there is a motoric response in the muscles to music.

If you can't tell, I'm geeking out a bit about this. I went to a music store the other day to expand my music variety a bit and got Motown Hits, Aretha Franklin, 101 Classical Themes, and Phil Collins among others. I've been enjoying experimenting and playing with the music as I think of how to share it with my friends in hospice.

I couldn't help but see the similarities to this concept of music and the brain to the gospel and each of us. As much as music is seemingly innate, the light of Christ and the truths of the gospel are part of our divine heritage. No matter the culture or circumstance, there is music and there is truth. In Doctrine and Covenants 88:40 it reminds us that "intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own;" Just like music, there is truth in many places and many forms. And similar to the way music uses and connects the entire brain, I have come to feel that way about the gospel. It is a whole mind, whole soul endeavor-- to learn, connect, and apply the scriptures and principles of the gospel in our lives. I find parallels and analogies all the time in daily life that pertain to the gospel as I make connections using every part of this mortal experience. And just like how I can't wait to share a great new song, I love sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. Because it makes me happy and I want to share that joy with those I care about.