A few months ago I read the book "Me Before You" by JoJo Moyes which also just came out in theaters. Louisa Clark becomes a caregiver for the wealthy young Will Traynor who, due to an unfortunate accident, is a quadriplegic. Before his accident, Will was a regular James Bond- living a large life full of adventure and risk on his terms. He is now of the opinion that since he can no longer live the way he would want, he does not want to live. On one hand it is a beautiful story of how Lou and Will slowly change each other- he opens her up to the possibilities of living life to the fullest and she offers him a love that changes them both. At first the title made me think of who each of them were before meeting and loving the other. Another interpretation of "me before you" another blogger suggested is a much more selfish version- Louisa's whole life has been full of selfless service or the "you before me" mentality, while Will's self-centered lifestyle and attitude is definitely "me before you". The war between these two mentalities forms the center of the saga.
After watching the movie, I left the theater with a vague sense of sadness mixed with dissatisfaction. I can't help but see that a more eternal perspective would change the entire story. Sure, if all we have and all we are is this mortal existence, then the "eat, drink, and be merry" attitude might be understandable. In a desperate attempt to cram all the wonders and thrills of mortality we would all encourage each other to live similarly to Will. However, I know we are much more than this brief mortal existence- we are eternal beings undergoing a probationary period of learning and growth- of becoming more so than just doing. It is much easier to check of a list of things to do and much more challenging to "check off" a list of becoming. In the former viewpoint, an accident like the one Will experiences would be devastating- an end to most adventures and a limit to being able to live according to your own will. Yet with the latter more eternal perspective, a trial like that is an opportunity, a chance to learn and grow in new ways and refine character. Instead of seeing what you can't do, you could focus on different ways to grow and serve.
The hashtag for the movie is #LiveBoldly, but guess what? It's not enough to just live boldly for yourself, for your own interests and personal development. Please don't misunderstand me- education is vital, expanding your horizons and abilities. However, all of that will add up to zero if we fail to develop charity- the ability to love and serve unconditionally. Ultimately that will be what changes and shapes us. I'm not discrediting your desire to visit Ireland or learn another language, or skydive- because I want to do all those things. Add some contributions to your bucket list and be mindful of the process of becoming along the way.
- Volunteer- yes, the one time events but also something consistent and committed.
- Build a home with habitat for humanity
- Discover causes you are passionate about and find ways to contribute
- Make a Kiva Loan
Or ask yourself some of these questions to help you figure out how you want to contribute.
What do you want your life to stand for?
What message do you want to send with your life?
How do you want to contribute to making the world (or your world) a better place?
How do you want to be remembered by others when you’re gone?
If you could grant just one wish to one person, who would you chose and what would you grant them?
What are your most important values and how do you want to use those values?
