Soul Sistas

I've been blessed with sisters. Lots of them actually. Four biological ones- *Aurora,* Jasmine, *Bubbles, and *Bella, not their real names obviously. This picture is several years old now, but the only one I could find with all of us together...I will have to work on that.I posted briefly about them in my first post ever and this is what I said "My oldest sister (*Aurora), only three years older than myself, is funny and has NO inhibitions; I consider myself a fairly private person so she makes me step outside of my comfort zone, a lot. She also instilled my love of literature. My second oldest sister(*Jasmine) is only two years older than I and she is going to school across the country from me studying and working hard, maybe going to med school. She lives a very different life from myself and she has taught me so much about understanding others and unconditional love. She is always challenging me to think in different ways and I love her dearly. My younger sister(*Bubbles) is turning 17 this week (if you just rolled your eyes and groaned- I'm with you) and is boy crazy!! It's funny talking to her because of all the things she wants to tell me about boys and school and seemingly silly things, but she always surprises me with her deep insights and profound spirituality. My youngest sister(*Bella) is two years younger than the 17 year old. She is the tiny tomboy of the family. Over the years, her and I have shared a love of dancing so we always dance together. She is talented with the piano, singing, acting, and art- to name a few. Always thoughtful, she is caring and loving even when she's rocking out." They are women of laughter and intelligence, a bit stubborn and nevertheless endearing. We are constantly growing and learning from each other, and yes, sometimes frustrating each other. But we are learning how to be ourselves and have our separate lives and still be united. Not an easy task so far, but definitely worth it.

Throughout my life I've met incredible women- family, friends, and even strangers. Aunts, cousins, teachers, visiting teachers, co-workers, and the rare kindred spirit. There is something to be learned from all of them. They are truly my angels, my sanity checks, and my spotters.
I want to talk about one more sister today though. Emilee. Yes, that's her real name because she said I could. And yes, the one I congratulated months ago on her engagement and have been counting down til her wedding next week. This is definitely appropriate timing because when I return from my visit to her I will be posting pictures and sharing some adventures.So here's Emilee!! We met our freshmen year at BYU, had several classes together, and lived in the same dorm. We joke they we were neighbors in heaven before and will be once again. I can just see us on the PTA together and throwing block parties. Emilee once posted on my Facebook wall " The Harry Potter website just told me that we'd be friends forever. It knows." I couldn't agree more. And then there was the time we worked together on a project from the boys in our ward, and the time we had a love quote battle on fb, the times one of us would call the other and somehow the other one would be crying at the same time!! About 18 months ago she moved back to Arizona and I've seen her twice since then- last Christmas and this past April the day she got engaged. I just want to tell you some of the things I love about her: I love the way she listens to me, I love the way she can tell me I'm wrong and not make it sound like an insult, I love the way she laughs when she is absolutely happy, I love the way she takes care of the people around her be it family, roommates, or friends, and I love that I can talk to her about anything and everything. I'm sure I will gush more about Em after I come back from her wedding. Here is a beautiful picture of Emilee and her fiance, H.

To kindred spirits and to soul sistas!

Finding Mr. Right?

This article made me laugh so hard I just had to share. Because, in all honesty, dating is much much harder than they make it look! (Fyi-to my missionary friends just returning home- I have not just been going on dates and partying these past two years!) Written July of 2009 here is Michael Moran with....

Finding Mr Right: 7 Tips from the Movies
If you're looking for romance, Hollywood has all the answers

There’s a lot of talk about what the meaning of life might be, but everyone really knows it’s romance: Finding Mr (or Miss) Right and raising a few kids is the principal motivation for every living thing from mushrooms to monarchs.Sometimes,though, it’s hard to find the right partner. Sometimes it’s hard to find any partner. Naturally the geniuses of cinema are on hand to show us how it’s done.

1. FIRST FIND YOUR TERRORIST

Far and away the best method of building a lasting relationship is to be involved in some kind of hostage drama or dangerous cross-country chase. From The 39 Steps through to Speed – indeed as far as Speed 2 – young men and women have been finding their true love at the point of a gun. Gunfire and peril is such a reliable relationship builder, in fact, that it can reunite estranged couples just as well as it can forge new ones: Just take a look at the most recent Indiana Jones film. Or Die Hard. Or Die Hard 2.

2. LOSE YOUR SCRUPLES

If you’re serious about romance, there’s no place for morals(excuse me! I think it's the perfect place for morals!). Sham weddings are a great way to kick-start a marriage. Sandra Bullock’s top relationship tip is to order a subordinate to marry you. She’s demonstrating that one right now in current cinema release The Proposal. It’s by no means a new idea: Gerard Depardieu and Andie McDowell first hit on the fake marriage ploy way back in 1990 with Green Card. It’s as sound a foundation for lasting love as it was then.

Don’t be coy, either, about underhand tactics to eliminate a potential rival. Back in 1937 The Awful Truth showed how shabby acts can ease the way for true love. It also featured a really sweet dog. In the classic Howard Hawks comedy His Girl Friday Cary Grant repeatedly gets his ex-wife’s fiancé arrested on trumped-up charges until the poor chap sees reason and withdraws from the fray. If you’re serious about settling down with your dream man or woman, make sure you enlist a few corrupt cops.

3. PLAY HARD TO GET

The grass is always greener on the other side, forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest and,(although it’s not strictly relevant) a stitch in time saves nine. Nobody wants love handed to them on a plate, it’s unsanitary for one thing, and Hollywood has shown this time and time again. From the firecracker bickering of classic screwball comedies such as It Happened One Night or The Lady Eve to the tongue-tied predictability of How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days . Julia Roberts proved in I love Trouble that even irascible bears like Nick Nolte can fall for a girl as long as she’s rude enough.

4. DON’T BE FUSSY

We’re conditioned by stories like Cinderella and Snow White to believe that there’s one true love out there for us all. Unfortunately, as the manufacturers of moisturising creams the world over like to remind us, we won’t look this good forever. Sooner or later it’s time to settle. When Harry Met Sally is a perfect lesson in how to win at romantic musical chairs: try to find The One but always keep your backup spouse close to hand.

If you still haven’t dated anyone by the time you’re 40 don’t hold out for perfection – learn from The 40 Year Old Virgin and hook up with the first person that shows even halfway willing. Best advice of all comes from the latest Katherine Heigl effort The Ugly Truth. He may be an ill-mannered misogynistic boor but he’s still a man, dammit and once you’ve passed thirty that’s good enough.(Wow....really?!!!!)

5. BE A NERD

Of course romance comes easily to nerds. The movies tell us that again and again. We’ve already discussed The 40 Year Old Virgin, where a dysfunctional shut-in with minimal cool marries super-groovy Catherine Keener. Bridget Jones’s Diary extols the irresistible appeal of the female klutz. Annie Hall ups the ante by bringing two entirely different grades of nebbish together in one majestic loser romance.(Or start out like Barrymore in Never Been Kissed and bam!, transform into the It girl)

6. BE LUCKY

If you can’t be a nerd, be lucky. Whether it’s something as unlikely as winning a lottery (It Could Happen To You) or an everyday piece of good fortune like being selected to write the lyrics for a guaranteed Number One single even though you’re just a gardener (Music & Lyrics) there really is no substitute for sheer good fortune. If you don’t have luck, make some – pitch up at a stranger’s wedding. Never fails.

7. WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST, GET A PROFESSIONAL IN

You wouldn’t dream of rewiring your own house. Unless you’d eaten a lot of cheese before bedtime or something. So why organize your own relationships? If we’ve learned anything from Pretty Woman, it’s that common street prostitutes are generally wholesome, marriageable young women. Experts in leaving home (Failure To Launch) and relationship counselors (Hitch) will definitely marry you as long as you pay them a lot of money first.

You should engage your professional with caution though: if The Wedding Planner has a message for us it’s this: the woman you hire to help you pick out some flowers will probably run off with the groom.

Thanks a lot, Hollywood!!

It's Not "Easy"

I just love this new song by Rascal Flatts and Natasha Bedingfield, so I wanted to share! The actual music video will be released later this week, so maybe I'll repost. But sometimes it's good to put your own story and heart into the song before they show you what they were thinking. <3

P.S. 6 days til I see Emilee and 10 days til her wedding!!!!

Aunt Kristi!!!!

Exciting news-- I"M GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!!!!!

Now that my sister, Jasmine, has made it public, I couldn't contain my excitement.

She's having a little girl near the end of October, the first grandchild on my family.

However, she and her boyfriend have decided to give the little angel up for adoption.

My first reaction when she told me months ago was "Can I have your baby?"
Not smooth at all, Kristi. Can you say- baby hungry?

This pregnancy wasn't planned and they are both finishing college, preparing for medical and graduate school, so they feel this will be best for the little girl.

Not going to lie- this is hard for our family.
If I could say one thing to this beautiful, feisty little miracle (in her ultrasound pictures she's screaming at the camera for being poked) is that while she wasn't planned for, she is very much wanted and incredibly loved already.

I'm not sure I can explain how much I already love my niece.
How much I want to teach her about life and poetry and baking and gardening.
I want to be there for her when she fights with her parents and rebels in high school.
I want to tell her everything I know about light and truth and love.
I hope I get that chance.

For now though, I'm celebrating this beautiful Little Angel.
For a baby is God's way of saying that the world is still worth it.

The Curse of Optimism

I'm a fairly optimistic person, if I do say so myself. Except when I'm not.

I'm a reasonably logical person. Except sometimes I'm not.

I'm a really romantic person, except when life demands some realism.

I used to be pretty trusting, but I'm not anymore.

You know the problem with optimism? Maybe you do and maybe you don't. And maybe it's just me. But my optimism leaves me standing in the rain, alone, smiling, hoping beyond all reasonable hope that they really didn't mean to hurt me, that they're telling me the truth, that in the end they do care about me, that if I work hard enough I can make everything work for everyone all the time, that if I can just keep smiling and pushing through then one day all the love and service will come back around. And optimism demands that I keep waiting, hoping, working for that "one day", because to give up anytime along the way would be failure. Yet sometimes, my optimism feels more like stupidity for allowing myself to be disappointed and hurt, again and again...and again. Oh, and again.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love, said "I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."
I'm not talking just about romantic relationships, but friends and family too.

But there is a part of my soul that refuses to dismiss optimism.

That clings to the hope of waking up each morning and finding the world a little better.

That keeps me going when nothing else does.

That tells me I'm right about this whole optimism thing, if I will just stand my ground.

P.S. 8 days til I see Emilee and 12 days til her wedding!!!!

Technology Race

The presidential election is in full force and more people than ever are getting involved, which warms the bottom of my heart. However, they aren't necessarily getting involved by donating money to a particular campaign or attending the rallies and speeches. Facebook, texting, IPhone apps, and Twitter are the foremost tools of the modern political campaign. In fact, I receive update texts from the Obama campaign and emails from the Romney committee, I found out about Huntsman's campaign announcement via my phone's newsfeed, and encouraged people to do some political research via this very blog.

Even since the 2008 election, technology has increased by leaps and bounds. Technology is being integrated into education and communication, changing the way we interact with our friends, co-workers, employers, even celebrities and is also changing how we see ourselves. I mean, look at me- I'm blogging for heaven's sake!(But I am still avoiding Twitter) I started this blog on assignment for a college class and in that same class worked on a project for improving support group websites. Nowdays, when I hear something clever or have an opinion on a world event, I join the discussion. People like Obama, Romney, Huntsman, and other world leaders are starting these discussions, even leading them in Congress, in the White House, in debates and rallies. But we, my fellow Americans, are joining them via Facebook, Twitter, text, Hulu, YouTube, blogs and other social media outlets.

Will technology set the curve for this race? Will the candidate who is the most "plugged-in" win through the reach of their technology?

I'm tired of being disappointed....

But I refuse to lower my expectations.

Taking a Stand on the Issues

In honor of the first debate of the presidential election campaign, I thought I should briefly explore where I stand on some of these issues. Please be aware that I am not an expert on all of these topics and reserve the right to research some more and change my mind. Not to worry- I will tie in technology in my next post : ) And the best one is saved for last, so try to read the whole thing or at least skim til you get to the bottom ; )

• Health Care- I support a universal health care mandate, but not at the federal level. If operated at the state level, each state would have more control over the revenue and be able to dictate state tax cuts. Also, by localizing the health care and insurance within each state it will create jobs that cannot be outsourced and help build the economy.
• Peanut Butter- Crunchy or Smooth? This debate has been raging for decades with casualties on both sides, people debating in the condiment aisle of grocery stores and even all out peanut butter wars. But in considering the merits of each camp, I've found that both are solid contenders for the top spot. So I must go with moderation in all things- smooth pb on my crackers or celery with crunchy pb on my sandwiches.
  
• Stem-Cell Research- Being a scientist myself, I have researched and studied about the processes and uses of stem cell research. I even attended a conference on the subject back in 07. I was surprised to discover that most members of Congress, when asked to describe their understanding of the definition of stem cell research, had little to no correct assumptions or conceptions about such research. Stem-cell research does not destroy life, but rather is working to find cures for medical conditions of every sort so I support stem-cell research wholeheartedly. However, in tangent, I do not agree with cloning for recreational science.
• Pepsi vs Coca-Cola- Like you even need to ask. Pepsi, hands down, no question. The patriotic colors, the superior taste, the family tradition, everything points to the right answer of Pepsi.
• Education- An issue close to my heart to be sure. While many presidents have lauded young students as the future of America, they have left primary and secondary schools out in the cold as far as the budget goes. Among the top industrialized nations, America has the lowest literacy rate. Maybe because we pay people who run around with balls or who pretend to be other people more than we pay our teachers. I support the idea behind "No Child Left Behind", but I have seen some of the errors in implementation. There needs to be more funds allotted with greater flexibility in order to meet the financial needs of the schools as well as the individual needs of students for attention and resources. I agree with alternative educational methods including home school and vocational training as well as the necessity of involving the community and family in the education of children.
• Dogs or Cats? I'll make this one perfectly clear. I am a dog person. It's not that I specifically hate cats, but given the choice I will take almost any dog over a cat (except the little yappy purse dogs or a pit bull). Cats are antisocial and sleepy all the time and when the whole point of me getting a pet is companionship the dog is usually alert, playful, loving, loyal, and intelligent. A dog can be with me in many situations from watching TV to going for a run, taking a trip, or doing projects around the house. While a cat may purr next to me while I watch t.v., look at me like I'm crazy if I tried to get her to run with me, puke all over the car on road trips, and sleep right on top of my craft project on the table. Dog person.
• National Security- Many of the national security issues on the table right now are the wire taps on incoming Muslims to the US and the threat of terrorists from within our country, and nuclear proliferation particularly in connection to North Korea and Iraq. I'm against wiretaps on any immigrants or visitors to America on principle, but rather suggest a more thorough screening process to allow for both security and privacy issues, not to mention tolerance to be maintained. I'm still undecided about Guantanamo and will continue to research. I agree that nuclear conditions need to be regulated, but not just on a national scale but on an international one. We had the opportunity to do so with Poland and the Czech Republic and backed out, which was probably right for the time. However, whether in NATO or another Summit, global consensus needs to be sought after.
• And finally...
• Edward vs. Jacob? ( Disregard the resolution reached in the fourth book of the series for the purpose of this debate) Upon my first reading, I was unequivocally in the Edward Cullen camp. I mean, there is something to be said for being absolutely drawn to someone and falling head over fangs in love. And maybe it's because we all want to believe that kind of love can exist--the unshakable, all-powerful, can overcome any obstacle, changes everything, consuming love. And I'm not saying it doesn't, the jury is still out. BUT, I've had more experience in dating, love, and relationships since I first read the series. You got to admit upon reflection- why would you love someone who always pushes you away and keeps you at arms length, who makes you feel like you're never good enough? It makes me think Bella is a bit stupid and blind, not to mention a glutton for pain. Instead, I would rather be with someone who allows me to be myself around him, all the time, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Someone who is full of light and happiness and warmth and joy. Someone who holds me close instead of pushing me away. Someone I'm friends with first and grow to love. Someone who knows how to apologize and keeps his promises. Someone who will defend me with his last breath but can also tell me when I've made a mistake. Someone like Jacob Black. So, all fiction and fantasy aside, I pick Jacob.

If you'd like to explore the issues a bit more or the candidate's stance on them check out this website. Please leave a comment or share your own view on hot-topics of the day.

Something. . .

There is a feeling right after you finish a book. A feeling of slowly removing yourself from the world and story that held you bound for the hours sprawled out on the couch and the time reading in the library. A feeling of coming back to reality, not necessarily for a better or worse reality, but one that is solidly your own. A realization comes with the conclusion of a book- that your finale is not yet here. The climax and plot twists are still evolving and some are around the corner for me, inspiring fear, excitement, and amazement all at the same time. But the theme has already been introduced and cleverly explored in the beginning chapters and I know something is coming. Something bigger than me, bigger than words, bigger even than the collectively shared experiences on this theme. Something that part of me already knows somehow. So I shut the book reverently and rise from my chair, to go out and meet it.

Left Behind

Left Behind

Trapped first by pain
then sealed in silence.
Pushing for a way out
ripping out of the seal.
Adrift alone in the bay
wrapped in the mistakes
we’ve made all along--
Knowing you are adrift too,
in your own bay
barely in view.
Wishing somehow
we would talk it out together,
promise to keep each other afloat,
But this is how you wanted it.
Me here and You...there.
I can see them coming,
inching their way to me.
Pulled out to dry
leaving you swimming upstream.
Unsure if you want
to be rescued at all.
I’d trade with you
in a heartbeat,
rather than watch
from the shore.
Put me in the fight,
the crashing currents
and slippery paths.
Scaling the waterfall-
you are the martyr
and hero all at once.
Alone now,
alone in a journey
I thought we’d make together.
This is the one I picked.
Somehow our tickets
got mixed up in the mess.
And we wonder if we will
ever get to where
we planned to go.
But now we are world’s apart,
You, alone with everyone watching,
and me,alone, without their notice.

Eat Fresh and Save the Environment!

Subway has sucked me in big time. Maybe it was the commercials about Jared back in the day. Or perhaps it is my addiction to the Oven-Roasted Chicken sandwich with American cheese, lettuce, black olives, and mayo that sealed the deal. And my occasional weakness for their delicious cookies. And possibly my original admiration for Subway become deep and abiding love when I discovered the Kids Meal with milk and apples (or yogurt if I choose!!) accompanying my 3 inch sandwich. But a recent discovery might just put me over the edge to hero worship. I went in for a Kids Meal and they asked me if I wanted the Kids Meal sack, so I said sure. Next thing I know, my sandwich and meal is being handed to me in a little bright pink reusable lunch bag. It has a picture of the earth and the word " Conserve" written in almost fifty languages across it. And I even looked up what other kinds they have while I was searching for a good picture to share with you. They even have Green Lantern reusable meal bags! You should check it out. So, am I impressed? Oh yeah. Move aside little brown lunch sack and expensive deluxe 5-compartment superhero lunch box. Thank you Subway.