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Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Playing It Safe

We all do it. Yes, even you. Sometimes we play it safe. Of course we pretend that we don't, we avert our eyes, hold our breath, and hope that no one saw us do that in a world that promotes risk and passion. The optimist call it prudence, caution, or careful planning- which all sound great and organized until a realist calls you out on being guarded, uptight and down right scared. But who really wants to admit that they are scared? Sometimes it's being selfish, even a bit utilitarian, as we maximize our gains while minimizing our losses. Playing it safe is occasionally about doing what you want to do, regardless of what you think you should do because that sounds harder and probably is. And maybe it's not that we lack the courage for jumping, but the plain truth is that we've jumped many times before, as everyone else said we should, landed on the rocks and broken every bone, even shattered our heart.


The sad sad truth is that we do it more often than we think. In our education, our career, our relationships, in our everyday decision making. We tell only part of the truth because we think that they won't listen to it all, even though they really should hear it. We make dozens of back-up plans because we're terrified of being rejected so it ends up that we don't put all our efforts into Plan A. We keep our opinion to ourselves in a discussion or problem-solving chats because we're afraid people will think we're too bossy, know-it-all, stupid, mundane, or *insert your own adjective here. We keep people at arms length rather than letting them get inside our hearts because while proximity allows support and help, it makes us vulnerable to attack. Even the obvious one- picking the safe guy over the passionate one. And then we avert our eyes, hold our breath, and hope that no one was paying attention to your pansy decision making. Because in books, and television and movies, no one is ever safe. They blurt it all out, fight with their bosses, run after the bus, kiss their best friends, and get into their first choice schools or jobs. But if we step back- back into reality- we see that there is still a safety net there. It's not real. It will end and usually happily so it can make more money in the box office. But the consequences of risk are very real- unpaid bills, destroyed relationships, and sometimes lots of pain. As I'm sure you can tell by now- I don't know if I'm advocating playing it safe or risking it all. Someone once said, "A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships are for." And a wise person answered back, "If you don't jump, you won't fall. But if you don't jump, you'll never soar."


I guess what I'm saying is that I need to take a leap of faith, be bold and daring, even just a little bit more. And keep building on that. And I think I'm saying that there is a time to hold your cards close to your chest, to pull back and put on all your armor. There is nothing wrong with being strong, independent, and wanting to protect yourself. But I think I will miss more of life if I don't open up, shout out my opinions, let people in, and fail miserably sometimes. So here's to figuring out when to do which!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Life is. . .

Life is beautiful.
Life is surprising.
Life is hard.
Life is a great many things all rolled into one.

So, I didn't get the job I've been working toward.
Therefore, lots of choices need to be made.
Soon.

I want to make the right choice for me.
I wish it was that simple.
Everything else factors into making life altering choices though.
Like my family, a career, a lifestyle, money, etc.

I want to grab life and take control,
But I don't want to be selfish and discount others.
And the one thing I want more than everything else....
I can't accomplish on my own or even when I plan it.

A few words of wisdom are in order.
" Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." ~Dorothy Thompson

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~ Albert Einstein

"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets." ~Arthur Miller

"If you don't get lost, there's a chance you may never be found."

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."- Emerson

Please pray for me to make the right decisions.




Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Left Behind

Left Behind

Trapped first by pain
then sealed in silence.
Pushing for a way out
ripping out of the seal.
Adrift alone in the bay
wrapped in the mistakes
we’ve made all along--
Knowing you are adrift too,
in your own bay
barely in view.
Wishing somehow
we would talk it out together,
promise to keep each other afloat,
But this is how you wanted it.
Me here and You...there.
I can see them coming,
inching their way to me.
Pulled out to dry
leaving you swimming upstream.
Unsure if you want
to be rescued at all.
I’d trade with you
in a heartbeat,
rather than watch
from the shore.
Put me in the fight,
the crashing currents
and slippery paths.
Scaling the waterfall-
you are the martyr
and hero all at once.
Alone now,
alone in a journey
I thought we’d make together.
This is the one I picked.
Somehow our tickets
got mixed up in the mess.
And we wonder if we will
ever get to where
we planned to go.
But now we are world’s apart,
You, alone with everyone watching,
and me,alone, without their notice.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Some Dreams Are a Little Too Real

Have you ever woken up, rather jolted out of a dream? Have you ever gone back to sleep just to figure out how it ends, to find the key, to grasp that one detail you need when you wake up? I've always been a dreamer, literally and figuratively. I have really vivid dreams and I tend to remember them long after I wake up. Now, I don't believe dreams are psychic visions, but I also believe they can contain truth and knowledge our conscious brain may not have full access to. Last night's dream may forever be imprinted on my memory.


There was this beautiful baby girl, more perfect than any I've ever encountered. And I've seen a lot of babies being an older sibling, a babysitter, a nanny, a friend, etc and I love them. Never have I found a baby I would call unattractive, but this baby was exquisite. Dark curly hair and deep blue eyes- eyes that will one day become green and gold. She had this adorable half smile and as she looked up at me while I rocked and fed her it was as though she was speaking to my soul. And I was singing to her, a lullaby I made up and can barely remember now that I'm awake. For a moment I raised her up and looked up at her only to realize she didn't have a name yet. So I went back to rocking her, mentally going through the baby name list I've made over the years. Not a Kelly Anne or an Emilee Nicole. Not Anne Marie or Nancy Rae. I woke up panicking that I didn't know her name so I did what every sane woman would do. I went back to sleep to figure it out.

This picture really doesn't do her justice.

Her name is Brooklyn Rose.