I have a lot of married friends. And I love them. As I approach my 25th birthday I never expected to be the "single" one from my college friends, among my mission friends and companions, and even from my high school group. It's a fairly comical cycle- I make friends and they get married, I make more friends and they get married...I move somewhere completely different and make more wonderful great friends...and they get married too. Maybe I'm helping lots of people find love and happiness? Okay, it probably has very little to do with me (Except Marianne and Colin- I totally set you guys up). And I'll admit there are moments of feeling sorry for myself, of always being the third wheel, of wanting to eat ice cream and binge watch chick flicks after reading my whole feed full of cute family pictures and posts. But that can be another post. (Hmm, maybe not. Sounds depressing)
The purpose of this post is to thank all my wonderful married friends for all the wonderful things you add to my life!
* Thank you for sharing your unique love stories. It teaches me over and over to be myself, trust the Lord and his timing, and that love is really worth risking everything for.
* As you embark on this marvelous adventure of marriage and parenthood, thank you for including me. What a gift it is to watch cherished friends grow through these new experiences! I get the privilege of observing people I already love and adore, progress and grow tremendously.
* Thank you for bringing more wonderful people into my life! As you find spouses who are your counterparts in awesomeness, I am blessed with more amazing friends. Thank you for the richness you add to my life.
* Thank you for including me. Except for right after the wedding, most of my married friends have been fantastic about including me in their new lives. Dinners, girls nights, new homes- thank you for taking time to keep me in the loop.
* Thank you for confiding in me. Communication changes between friends after marriage and rightly so. Some, if not most, things are now between you and your spouse (not you and your girlfriends). Whatever you do choose to share, discuss, and confide in me about, thank you for trusting me.
* Thank you for seeing me. I'm usually the one who feels this label of singleness and attaches to it. You rarely do. I'm just your friend and you see me for me (and not your token single friend)
* Thank you for believing in me, in my dreams and goals. Thank you for all the encouragement as I take a path in my life perhaps quite different from yours. And though it may not be familiar to you, you never fail to cheer me on!
* Thank you for letting me love your kids. Seriously, my heart is wrapped around their little fingers and it is such a tender mercy for me to love, enjoy, and learn from them. Thank you for letting me do so.
* Thank you for trusting me with your kids. Thank you for trusting the most precious people in your world with me when I babysit and visit. Thank you for sharing the joy they bring.
* Thank you for believing in and standing up for marriage. Though I'm not married yet, I recognize what a leap of faith marriage is- in yourself, in another person, and in God. Thank you for your faith in something bigger than yourself.
*Thank you!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Q&A with Elder Bednar
This past weekend I had the privilege of participating in a morningside devotional with Elder Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. In place of a more traditional talk, he opened up the devotional for a question and answer session! Similar to other opportunities I've had to interact with and be taught by general authorities of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Elder Ballard, Elder Andersen, and others) it was an inspirational morning. And like those times, the whispering of the Spirit tells me that though I learn to love them even more as I am instructed at their feet, I do not need to meet the 15 men we call prophets, seers, and revelators to know that they are exactly that.
Some traditional Elder Bednarism's came up--some of his areas of emphasis include taking notes of impressions rather than what is actually said (he calls it the small plates versus the large plates), being an agent to act rather than an object, studying the Book of Mormon with a topic/question in mind and how he learned to honor the priesthood from his non-member father. Even though those are familiar words of wisdom from Elder Bednar, the impressions I felt specifically were a tender mercy. I want to share just a few parts of that.
* There is no such thing as "free" agency- that term never appears in the scriptures. What we are normally referring to is "moral agency", the ability to choose between right and wrong. We should never forget that it's not free.
* One sister stood up and asked what she can do to her less-active family as she worried about ever being sealed to them. His response was brief, at first. "It begins with you." He then expanded saying that before we even get to the idea of starting our own family and beginning those traditions, our faithful keeping of covenants and renewal of ordinances will strengthen our families. Elder Bednar went on to share a story from his life. Growing up his father was not a member so the first time he had family prayer and family home evening were as a husband. After their first son was born, he had colic and Elder Bednar took care of him at night (Sister Bednar was very sick during the pregnancy). Having not had the example of a Melchizedek priesthood holder growing up, he found himself asking, " What would it be like if I read the sections about the priesthood in the Doctrine and Covenants to my son? What would it be like..." Elder Bednar pointed out to us that often what we see as disadvantages are really opportunities to seek out divine guidance and to learn. Again he emphasized the importance of remembering covenants and ordinances and that will exert a powerful influence on all family members.
* About halfway through the devotional, Elder Bednar asked us a question- What were we learning from the format of the questions and answers? One brave humble young man stood and admitted that he learned he was not prepared. He had not come with questions, not that we knew what the format would be, but in his heart he had brought no question to ask the Lord during this opportunity. Humbly, he told us that he would not let it happen again and would strive to be prepared at all times to gain guidance and inspiration. What a good reminder for all of us!
Thursday, January 14, 2016
When Running...Through Tar
First post of 2016! Oh yeah!! Bring it on! I love beginnings and fresh starts, embarking on new adventures and wiping the slate clean. And though sometimes we carry over old issues or current challenges into those new beginnings, often it can offer us fresh perspectives.
I've ushered in the new year with a lot of purpose, direction, and power. my theme for the year is Semper Fi (which means Always Faithful in Latin). Always faithful to the Lord, faithful and true to myself, and faithful to my commitments and mission. The latter will soon include the United States Marine Corps as I made the decision a few months ago to enlist. Confirmation of this decision has been overwhelming and humbling as I truly feel that this is where Heavenly Father wants me to be. What an incredible blessing in my life to feel so directed towards the next phase/step in my life on my journey to become who I need to be!
Mirroring real life, my excitement about and commitment to this comes first. It is followed by some nervousness, some worry, and some frustration. Just starting the process has been a process. Since I'm being open and vulnerable, I might as well share, right? Everything is pretty much in order, except I need to lose some more weight to meet eligibility requirements. As soon as I knew where I needed to be, I single-mindedly set to the task at hand. I carefully track my eating, train at the gym 5-6 times a week, with a trainer 2-3 of those days, I've become a marathon water-drinker, and very protective of getting enough rest. And I've lost weight. Slowly. I mean painfully slow. So I decided to go Paleo (after trying the military diet several times), found another mentor, added a vision board and have gotten so intense with my daily declarations that I've lost my voice.
This week I reached a point of frustration and desperation as I poured my heart out to Heavenly Father. " I'm doing everything you asked me to do and I'm stuck! I know I'm doing your will so why can't I progress faster? I've counseled with you on every step and I'm not reaching the goals." The reply didn't come all at once, but rather over the course of several days and small impressions. I'd like to share them as I feel that they will apply to this and many other situations of life.
* On Sunday, President Russell M Nelson gave a wonderful devotional and one part specifically hit me. He said, "Expect and prepare to accomplish the impossible. Abrahamic tests did not stop with Abraham." Wow. And the words "this will be one" came to mind almost as if he had said it. If this seems challenging, it's because it is!! And that's alright, because I CAN do hard things!!!
* Maybe we say this all the time. Maybe we say this as an excuse when we don't put in 110% effort. But mostly I think this is true. God has his own timing. It's not that I'm off course, not good enough, not working hard enough. I have to constantly remind myself that God is a comprehensive planner- He is more focused on the process and the transformation and less so on the results.
* Practice makes perfect, right? If that works for piano lessons and learning languages, it most definitely applies to discerning promptings and obedience. If this whole thing was an answer to prayer and a spiritual impression to act, then it follows that it will be made up of smaller steps and promptings. Just like with your parents, you think you're learning one thing, but you're really learning three other things. As I learn to heed these impressions, I develop not only discernment, but obedience, faith, and trust in the Lord.
*Just last night I had the thought, "While looking forward, are you trying to skip what you still need to do right where you are?" Perhaps in the process of preparing to go where I need to go next, I've been in a hurry to be done with right now. There are still experiences I need to have, tools and skills I need to gain, people I need to help, uplift, and serve.
So I'm working on that whole patience thing and sometimes reminders like this can be frustrating in these situations. That doesn't change the fact that they're true. I still lack the magical ability to snap my fingers and erase the frustration or speed up the process, but I'm going to cut myself some slack. I am enough. I am listening to the promptings and following them. I am all in, doing everything that lies within my power to do and pleading with all my heart for what doesn't. And in the end, isn't that what He asks of us?
I've ushered in the new year with a lot of purpose, direction, and power. my theme for the year is Semper Fi (which means Always Faithful in Latin). Always faithful to the Lord, faithful and true to myself, and faithful to my commitments and mission. The latter will soon include the United States Marine Corps as I made the decision a few months ago to enlist. Confirmation of this decision has been overwhelming and humbling as I truly feel that this is where Heavenly Father wants me to be. What an incredible blessing in my life to feel so directed towards the next phase/step in my life on my journey to become who I need to be!
Mirroring real life, my excitement about and commitment to this comes first. It is followed by some nervousness, some worry, and some frustration. Just starting the process has been a process. Since I'm being open and vulnerable, I might as well share, right? Everything is pretty much in order, except I need to lose some more weight to meet eligibility requirements. As soon as I knew where I needed to be, I single-mindedly set to the task at hand. I carefully track my eating, train at the gym 5-6 times a week, with a trainer 2-3 of those days, I've become a marathon water-drinker, and very protective of getting enough rest. And I've lost weight. Slowly. I mean painfully slow. So I decided to go Paleo (after trying the military diet several times), found another mentor, added a vision board and have gotten so intense with my daily declarations that I've lost my voice.
This week I reached a point of frustration and desperation as I poured my heart out to Heavenly Father. " I'm doing everything you asked me to do and I'm stuck! I know I'm doing your will so why can't I progress faster? I've counseled with you on every step and I'm not reaching the goals." The reply didn't come all at once, but rather over the course of several days and small impressions. I'd like to share them as I feel that they will apply to this and many other situations of life.
* On Sunday, President Russell M Nelson gave a wonderful devotional and one part specifically hit me. He said, "Expect and prepare to accomplish the impossible. Abrahamic tests did not stop with Abraham." Wow. And the words "this will be one" came to mind almost as if he had said it. If this seems challenging, it's because it is!! And that's alright, because I CAN do hard things!!!
* Maybe we say this all the time. Maybe we say this as an excuse when we don't put in 110% effort. But mostly I think this is true. God has his own timing. It's not that I'm off course, not good enough, not working hard enough. I have to constantly remind myself that God is a comprehensive planner- He is more focused on the process and the transformation and less so on the results.
* Practice makes perfect, right? If that works for piano lessons and learning languages, it most definitely applies to discerning promptings and obedience. If this whole thing was an answer to prayer and a spiritual impression to act, then it follows that it will be made up of smaller steps and promptings. Just like with your parents, you think you're learning one thing, but you're really learning three other things. As I learn to heed these impressions, I develop not only discernment, but obedience, faith, and trust in the Lord.
*Just last night I had the thought, "While looking forward, are you trying to skip what you still need to do right where you are?" Perhaps in the process of preparing to go where I need to go next, I've been in a hurry to be done with right now. There are still experiences I need to have, tools and skills I need to gain, people I need to help, uplift, and serve.
So I'm working on that whole patience thing and sometimes reminders like this can be frustrating in these situations. That doesn't change the fact that they're true. I still lack the magical ability to snap my fingers and erase the frustration or speed up the process, but I'm going to cut myself some slack. I am enough. I am listening to the promptings and following them. I am all in, doing everything that lies within my power to do and pleading with all my heart for what doesn't. And in the end, isn't that what He asks of us?
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