Building off educational connections, none of those will matter in the future if we are not connected to each other. And I mean really connected. With all the benefits of technology these days, we have Facebook friends who live all over the world, Twitter followers we don't even know, and we follow blogs and Pinterest boards of friends and family- but does that mean we are connected? I remember when I first got a Facebook profile...six years ago and I was so excited for this other medium of communication. I had just started college and found myself 1600 miles away from my parents and siblings. Now I could see pictures from prom and camping trips. And I didn't feel so far away because I could see what they were doing, even if they didn't call. Maybe we've grown so accustomed to it now, but I don't feel as truly connected anymore.
In the last seven, almost eight months, since I returned from my mission, many friends and family members have experienced challenging trials. I don't know about you, but when my heart is breaking I don't post it all over Facebook. Sometimes later I share or work through it on my blog. But I still consider myself a private person. The same idea applies to these friends. Sometimes I find out they are struggling weeks or even months afterwards. I can send encouraging messages, but it just doesn't feel like it's enough. Of my five hundred or so Facebook friends, only a handful actually wrote me on my mission. I'm not blaming anyone- maybe they didn't get my address or they were just really busy. I get that. It's okay. And it goes both ways- of all those "friends", I only text and call a handful of them every week. But I am saying that we aren't connected. At least not in the way I really want to be connected. I want to be there for others when they are struggling. I want to celebrate their triumphs and share in their adventures.
Drew Barrymore's character, Mary, from He's Just Not That Into You said: "I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting."
I agree- it is exhausting to have so many modes of communication and still feel disconnected. Maybe we think because we are connected to the Internet that we are automatically connected to each other. Just because I can send an email or Facebook message doesn't mean I can comfort, console, or counsel to the degree that we really need. Now, I fully recognize that distance doesn't have to be a deterrent anymore-- it is possible to truly be connected these days no matter how far apart we are. But I wonder if we are.
Are we really in touch with those that matter to us? Or do we settle for stalking all their cute pictures and eagerly awaiting their next blog post? Are we sharing the important moments of our lives? This has been on my mind for weeks now as I've tried to figure out ways I can better connect. I know I'm not doing enough. I have the ability to pick up the phone, to send a text, or to write a letter. The ways in which we truly connect will vary- what makes a real connection for one person may not be sufficient for another. However it looks for you or for me, we need to connect. We need to feel that we have people we can talk to and trust. We need to be the kind of person with whom others want to connect.
How can we do this?
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