I thought it was a joke when someone told me that everyone in New York wears black coats in the winter. I mean, really? A city known for it's individuality and fashion and the people mostly wear black coats? Well, my friends, it's TRUE! I am not sure if it is because black is stylish or slimming, if it's all they sell in the stores here or if it's harder to see dirt or smog on a black coat, but the city is a swarm of black on cold days. I own a maroon coat and a bright red one. Most of the time I am the only one with a colorful jacket in the subway car. And I'm ok with that. I like feeling that I'm not a New Yorker. Is that strange? I think in general, I personally like to fit in, to feel like I belong. However, growing up and moving lots of places, and now as an adult as well, I've come to learn that where I reside has very little to do with who I am. For some, where they were born or grew up or live now is a huge part of their identity. Not for me. I can live somewhere and find everything good and learn from experiences there while at the same time contributing everything I have to offer. I know lots of people here in the city who are proud New Yorkers and that is awesome. I have come to know many people who simply are here for a job, for family, for awhile. And I reserve judgement on those who come and want to fit in and belong here. Put on that black coat- you will feel right at home. But I love to see those occasional individuals with their other colored coats- the rebels, those who refuse to change who they are under the pressure of this city.
At the same time that I say there is this almost unspoken uniformity in outerwear, I am reminded of the green mats. At my school, we use place mats for the children when having snack or eating lunch. Blue signifies that the child has no food restrictions or preferences. Red alerts us to an allergy. And green indicates a preference- something that we honor strictly but is not a medical allergy. It can be any number of things from Kosher to only food prepared by parents, no processed food etc. I have learned so much about traditions of the Jewish Passover in regards to food and restrictions, as well as during Lent for those students who had changes in their regular eating. Maybe it's a silly example, but it reminds me that there are so many complexities that we cannot see in people. These children do not "appear" any different that those children without any preferences. And even though I can't say that I know all the people I see on the trains everyday, I am sure they all have intricacies that are invisible to the eye. Maybe all I can see is a black coat, but everyone has a green mat. Those black jackets are just the tip of a very complex iceberg. New York is teaching me to look beyond what I can see, those first impressions, the tendency to judge quickly, and to give everyone a bit more grace.
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