West Side Story...

"I bought my first musical when I was ten- West Side Story. It’s my go-to movie when I’m sick, sad, lonely, or even angry. I’ve watched it so many times that I can tell you minute details and funny facts about the movie and the actors. For instance, Schrank and Krupke work out of the 21st precinct in New York City and the Jets won their turf from a gang called the Emeralds. Many of the actors in the movie also performed in the Broadway version, but usually in different roles. Anita in the movie played Maria in the London production. I could keep going. For some reason, I keep coming back to it. Especially the end, when Maria is yelling at the boys about killing each other with hate and pointing the gun at them. Then, she is cradling Tony and whispers “Te adoro Anton”. She’s wearing a red dress and stays still kneeling on the pavement when they carry him away. Baby John comes up and puts her scarf over her hair (which always felt a little awkward). Finally, she gets up and walks out of the playground with an impeccable poker face. And the credits roll. That final image of her face and walking away in that red dress haunts me. What happened to her? How did she wake up the next morning? And the next? Could she go to the funeral? Did she cry in front of others or did she detach for awhile? In my mind I’ve played out her life a thousand and four times. First, the sluggish first days, weeks, and months when she’s numb and sad and a little angry. The days she wakes up and can’t pull herself out of bed, but turns over and cries into the shirt he left in her room. The days she goes to Doc’s store and can’t remember what she was going to buy because Tony is all around her. Does she forgive Anita or does she pull away from her friends while they are trying to reach out? Because they didn’t understand in the first place. No one did. I wonder if she stays in New York or moves to escape the surroundings of that night. Does she become bitter or forgiving? I wonder if she falls in love again. Yeah, mostly I wonder the last one. After all, she was only fifteen or sixteen, and many argue that you don’t even know what love is at that age, much less understand it. Others claim that time heals all wounds- that in time she would open up and love again. Personally, I don't think she ever stops loving Tony so she can't love someone else the same way. You know, it’s so much harder than Romeo and Juliet. Both of them die in the end anyway. No loose ends, no couples torn apart. Dying for someone or because of them is certainly a momentous decision. But living on without them and living for them, is a lifetime of meaningful choices alone."

It was a good writing day, so I wanted to share some more : )

Very Real...

Another excerpt from my writings....

I believe in miracles. Both the large news-catching ones and the simple daily ones. He is my miracle, every part of him saves me… I also believe that prayers are heard and answered. I pray for him every night, for him to be safe and happy, for him to be learning and preparing, and often for him to come soon. But, whether you agree or not, I do indeed have common sense. I don’t expect to wake up one morning and see a handsome man holding roses, knocking on my door ready to sweep me away. I’m not Giselle from Enchanted, though I wish I had her hair sometimes. I’m not Kat from Taming of the Shrew, though her wit is admirable. I’m not the damsel in distress or the corporate power woman. I don’t have that perfect sexy body that every romance novel heroine somehow possesses. My point is that, try as you might, I do not resemble another fictional character, princess, or heroine. Because I am a real person who doesn’t get a simplified description in chapter one. If you want simple, go back to Twilight. Girl falls for boy. Boy is a vampire who loves her yet wants to eat her. Some fighting in between but you always know the good vampires will win. Throw in some werewolves for entertainment (and for Taylor Lautner’s abs) and wah-la! Not that I haven’t read the series myself a time or ten. I am not a stationary character type; rather I am a living, breathing, progressing, very real woman. Someone who makes stupid mistakes and takes risks, someone who obsesses about certain things and lets other things go. Someone who likes scarves in the fall, but not in the winter. Someone who prefers pearls to diamonds and sunflowers to roses. Who likes cooking to Phil Collins music and dancing around the kitchen to “True Colors”. Someone quite similar, perhaps, to you.

The Lost Generation

Following the war, a change swept across America and altered every field of study and thought. World War One was a new kind of war for all those involved- one that brought unprecedented loss and destruction with new weaponry and tactics. The development of chemical weapons starting with mustard gas was horrific in it's effectiveness. Poetry exploded during the war as many struggled to grasp the enormity of loss; Wilfred Owen is one the well-known solider poets immortalized in his poem, Dulce et Decorum Est.

With the end of the war in 1918, there lingered a bad taste in everyone's mouth (and not just because of the mustard gas) from the devastation. Furthermore, the influenza of 1918 was sweeping across the world and would eventually kill over 100 million people. From these bleak times, modernism emerged as an ideology and method of attempting to deal with the loss of traditions and values as well as the death and maiming of many. Specifically in literature, this is called the Lost Generation.

The Lost Generation typically refers to post-WWI American writers that moved to Paris to write and wander aimlessly in a place considered morally ambiguous from the start. Some of the best known Lost writers include Ernest Hemingway (blah), F. Scott Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein and John Dos Passos. Stein is considered the one who coined the phrase "lost generation", but Hemingway is the epitome of the group. He threw out florid Victorian prose and instead turned to straight journalistic writing. His novel, The Sun Also Rises, is a trademark of the era in it's treatment of the war and soliders. Many of the works of the time exlpored exile, loneliness, spiritual alienation, and indulgence. With Fitzgerald's, The Great Gatsby, the sad loneliness is masked by an illusion of carefree living.

It was one of those times- the times you have to admit you're scared and hurt and angry, and then work through it. When the world tells us that happiness and positivism is the only acceptable public emotion, they are in effect cutting off our ability to cope with the hard losses and frustrating times. So, bravo to the Lost Generation for exploring exactly what scared them and working through it- many times through writing. May we all be as brave.

King Henry: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

In my Shakespeare class, we have moved onto Henry V, one of the numerous history plays. The history plays explore the themes of nationhood, political morality and kingship extensively and Henry V focuses on the dichotomy of King Henry's public and private self.

Public Henry is patriotic, noble, honorable, uses mercy for political manipulation, and does not show weakness or mistakes. However, this is more of the stereotypical persona a king of the time period was expected to put on. In his famous St. Crispin's Day speech, he give a Braveheart-esque rallying speech to his men about the honor of fighting for England. I guess we should say that Mel Gibson was imitating Henry's speech instead. Henry's public persona is definite and allows no room for human error.
Yet, it is undeniable that Henry is just a man- full of weaknesses and faults just like any other. In fact, his private self is becoming absorbed by his public persona to the point that he is trapped as the kind. He can rarely express anything less than strength and power to those around him. But as the readers looking in, we can see the struggles he goes through as a man and as a king, with old friends, accepting responsibility, and finding love.

We see this today in our leaders- their public persona and campaigns versus their personal lives and values. Better yet, we find this within ourselves- hopefully not to the extent of Jekyll and Hyde, but definitely many ideas of good and evil, decorum and barbarity, and expectations against capabilities war within us. Personally, I struggle with a public perception of who I am and what I do by those I know which often limits my ability to show weakness and flaws publicly. I've discovered that a boundary between public and private portrayals is sometimes necessary while I retain an honesty of character. I cannot be careless with whom I reveal parts or the whole of myself to, but I also refuse to allow myself to become trapped in a public persona.

Anger Issues and Helpful Thoughts

Thank you Digital Civ professors- this is a much needed break from the stress and bustle of my hectic college schedule. So I'll just share some downs and up of today (since they came in that order).

First of all, I need to explain that I have a temper. If you are surprised by this sentence, you have probably only met me in the last five years or so since I've mostly learned to control it. But it's there. Not necessarily explosive or loud, but quiet and dangerous. Several of the events in my life, speaking particularly of this past month, have provoked quite a lot of anger in myself. However, due to the situation and circumstance my anger cannot be expressed towards the culprits. So it is leaking out, without my consent, into random aspects of my life. For instance- I will be sitting in a class (never DigiCiv because it's too amazing) and find myself with an opposing or alternate opinion than my professor. And suddenly I'm angry. Not just passionate-into-a-debate-angry. So angry I'm trembling and I get this poker face (hint: which means don't touch me) and I will admit that I start thinking death threats towards the professor or the speaking classmate at the moment. It's bad. So if you see me concentrating intensely and breathing slowly and deeply- don't touch. I'm trying to be rational and I know that my professors don't hate me and aren't trying to make me look stupid or trying to overload me with assignments. I know these things. But my temper can't seem to catch up with my brain.

***

My day got better. You see, I go to work after class. Is it odd that my day gets better when I go to work? I have the BEST job ever, well second to being a mother, but still.
I am a nanny to the cutest sweetest five-month old baby ever!

So, after a few attempts to get him down for his nap, I had some time for homework and reading while he slept. I picked up a book by Sheri Dew called "No Doubt About It" and therein found exactly what I needed to hear today. Here are just a few quotes that quenched my anger and brought much need wisdom back into my heart.

"Am I the woman I think I am, the woman I want to be? More importantly, am I the woman the Savior needs me to be?

"Life is filled with moments of joy, but life is also hard. It is an unmistakable privilege to be here in mortality, but the burden we carry is weighty, relentless, and laden with importance. So I pose two questions: What have we come here to do? And how will we do it?"

Finally she discusses light and darkness: the light of Christ will always be stronger than the darkness, stronger than any loneliness, pain, hurt, or anger as well as stronger than temptations and enticements. I can't find the quote verbatim, but the concept hit home.

They are things in life I simply do not understand. But the things that I do know are strong enough to keep me moving onward. I know that Jesus Christ is the Savior and that his Atonement is personal and allows me to work to return to my Father in Heaven. I know that I am a daughter of God, who is of infinite value to her Father, who has been given a specific mission here on Earth and in the eternities. I know the means of communicating with my Father in Heaven and how to recieve direction and guidance from the Lord. I know the Book of Mormon is the word of God. These things I do know so I will leave the rest in the Lord's hands.

Thank you Sheri Dew and my wonderful job.

Leading Up to Mormonism...

Asuncion, Paraguay Temple

First of all, can I just say that some days don't turn out as you plan. Some days it all rolls downhill and others have unappreciated surprises, while still others surprise you will blessings when you felt unseen. Can I hear it for those kind of days (and weeks and months and lifetimes like that)?

Anyway....moving on to the topic at hand. The evolution of new religions in the 1800's, particularly focusing on that of Mormonism. I am Mormon- if you did not know that up til now. And I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with all my heart. But the purpose today is to step back a little a view objectively how the movements in the time before lends itself to the creation of a new religion and how the Church today has embraced the digital revolution. To make it easier, I've made some lists (muhaha)

Helpful Ideas/Movements Leading to Mormonism

• The Printing Press- the evolution of the printing press that enabled the Protestant reformation of the 16th century formed the foundation upon a new book of scripture could be produced and distributed without the consent of "popular" religions.
• Renaissance Humanist- At least in their respect for the art of rhetoric and language, so came a respect found in the Mormon religion and culture for the language of the scriptures and the rhetoric of a modern prophet.
• Martin Luther- His precedence for breaking away from respected authority to follow personal beliefs and ideals opened the entire religious sphere to interpretation and questioning that Joseph Smith saw in 1820.
• Milton/Censorship- Milton argued against the censorship of any knowledge, and Mormon culture perpetuates that idea through preaching to all cultures and peoples- that everyone deserves the chance to have this knowledge.
• Enlightenment/Scientific Method: Joseph Smith had a question about the truth of various churches so he followed a familiar logical path through studying, pondering, questioning, asking ministers/preachers, and finally turning to prayer.
• Personal Verification- This ideas was first presented by Descartes when talking about method and basing observations and discoveries on personal understanding. So the LDS culture encourages investigators, converts, and member to seek to verification from the Spirit on questions or concerns.
• American Revolution/Democracy- The establishment of a nation with explicit religious tolerance set a unique stage for the development of new ideas and splitting of previous institutions without government persecution. Though it did not always hold true (mobs and the exile of Mormons from Missouri), the religious freedom was able to prevail in America.
• Wealth of Nations- Adam Smith's ideas of economics feed directly into the pioneer work ethic and determined creation of industry wherever the Saints traveled. They created cities and communities full of competition and division of labor for efficiency.
• Romanticism- Several ideas of this movement fed into the Mormon ideologies such as the importance of nature as a place to find God and oneself, the concept of emotion over reason at certain times, and the importance of relationships and communities.

Ways the LDS Church has embraced the digital era:

• Creation of websites such as the official church website, the new website, mormon.org website and many other off-shoots of these.
• The use of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir around the world, in person and online, to spread the gospel message.
• Mormon Messages- Short commercials and videos have been circulating for the past couple years to promote the values embraced by our religion.
• Stakes and wards across the world now have websites and information online.
• Temple and meetinghouse locator online.
• General Conference- Held twice a year it is broadcast around the world and made available in over one hundred languages.
• Missionaries online now can chat with investigators, email, and even skype!

The digital era has opened up the avenues the Church can use to expand and reach more audiences and will continue to do so.

I Am Honors...

Here is the example of what I'm looking for as far as Honors spotlights.

“My name is Kristi. For the past two years I have been swimming at least five miles a day in preparation to swim the English Channel. I love hip-hop and ballroom dancing, particularly with the Latin beats. I enjoy reading and writing flash fiction and I love to study the 1930’s and 40’s. I’m a student, a teacher, a writer, a dancer, a swimmer, and I am Honors.”

Even shorter is great too- “My name is Kristi. I enjoy studying World War 2, hip-hop dancing, and long distance swimming. And I am Honors.”

Tell me who you are and why you are amazing.

Also, tell me (separately) what the Honors Program means to you. Whether you are officially declared or just investigating the program, tell me why you choose Honors.

Some people will be chose to do short videos for the online version of Insight, so give me everything you got!

Why I Love Science!!!!!

I'm a science major- a hard science major (only slight offense intended). I love spending time in chemistry labs talking about rates of reaction and organic chemistry. I love talking about everything from the smallest electron orbital to the human body and to huge geological features. I love celebrating the life and creation of my Heavenly Father as I study the world around me!

In fact, my science classes here on BYU's campus have been some of my most spiritually inspiring courses. Dr. Bell (now the Dean of Undergraduate Education) taught my PDBio 120 class back in the day. He would stand on the desk when he got excited and gave us candy when we talked about high-energy electrons. And he gave an unforgettable lecture, one that to this day I refer back to. It was one of our last days of class and the topic was Evolution. We discussed the Church's stand of the subject and it's implications for us as Latter-day Saint scientists. In the last ten minutes of class, he bore his testimony in such a way that left an impression on my spirit. He testified that the more he studied science, the more he was able to find Heavenly Father .

Now onto the more specfic topic for class, evolution and moore's law. This semester I am taking a Genetics class and delving more into that field. Even the development of theory within this field is astounding. Hippocrates believed that we had mini body parts (gemmules) floating around inside us and that sex involved the transfer of said parts to make a whole person. Aristotle and the Greeks used to believe in "pre-formation", or the idea that we carried little tiny pre formed people around in us that slowly grew to the size of a baby until they were born. And these ideas stuck around for awhile actually. Darwin himself believed in gemmules, though he couldn't find a mechanism.

That is what is so fantastic about science- it changes with exploration and discovery. We can understand it one way, only to learn later that something else is more true. What do you love about science?

Isaiah and Lake Nasser

I'm in a class, "Writings of Isaiah" taught by Victor Ludlow. Yeah, the Victor Ludlow. I'm almost afraid to comment in this class because I'm so in awe. Well, this last week we were talking about Isaiah chapters 19-20, which talks about Egypt-both about their past and the future. In chapter 19:5-10, it explains that life along the Nile will change drastically. Things will dry up, fishermen will not be able to find fish, and many other things. Professor Ludlow explained how this could possibly happen.

In the 1970's, the Aswan Dam (see picture) was constructed on the Nile, thereby creating Lake Nasser. Original configurations about the dam and the water suggested that the dam could last over 200 years before it could no longer hold the water. More recently, as scientists have studied the input of Lake Nasser and the Aswan Dam, it is determined that the dam will only hold for 80-100 years. If you are wondering why, it is because the sediment dissolved in and carried by the Nile River gradually builds up, slowly filling the bottom with new layers. As this increases, the Dam will no longer be able to hold all the water and will burst. And as it does that it will devastate the land. I mean, 90% of the entire population of Egypt lives within sight of the Nile. Some solutions are being discussed, such as piping some of the water over into the Sahara or building another dam. But nothing has been decided and done.

Amazing what you can learn in your religion class. Unfortunately, I'm also in a Geology class this semester (the bane of my semester). Shouldn't I have learned this is Geology instead?

Roots of Innovation

In the 1830's, an intelligent and courageous man named Charles Babbage invented the designs for what he called the "Difference Engine", or a really really big calculator by today's standards.

And then there was Joseph-Marie Jacquard's automated loom using punch cards.

Ray Kroc that turned a food stand into the largest restaurant chain in the world, MacDonald.

A computer geek that revolutionized the face of computers today. Steve Jobs.



Extraordinary things happen everyday. In science, in literature, in nature, in technology, and through people. It's even more common than you might think. But my question is why. Why do people create and innovate? What pushes us to change and adapt?

Is it the world around us that dictates the need for change? There was no one demanding a calculator in 1832, but Babbage designed one. Is it the need humans have to create and serve? Maybe. Is it a cultural value? Do some places encourage invention and experimentation more than others? It is easy to look around at the world and say, "yep, things sure have changed in the past hundred years." The real question is why.

Mr. Bowditch and Sketchup

So for my mini-book club I read Carry On, Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham. Though considered a children's book, it masterfully turns a mathematical genius into an understandable guy. And it gave wonderful insight on the history and emotions of the time period. After some discussion in my group about what book to choose, we were deciding between books on the Great Works list, a book that we wanted to learn from and then be able to share, and one that wouldn't overwhelm us in the week allotted to read it. Hence our choice, thanks to Maggie's suggestions. You can check out my group's presentations if you'd like more in-depth on the novel with Kevin's Prezi, Maggie's book review, Brian's post, and Megan's posts.

In deciding what to do for this project, I wanted to try something challenging and something I'd never attempted before. Hence I stumbled upon Google SketchUp, the ultimate (at least for me) 3D modeling program. On the Google homepage, click on more then go to even more. You will find SketchUp under a list of tools/programs. Then you can download a free version and watch numerous tutorial videos on all the finer points. The basic premise of the program is to draw shapes and then pull them up into 3D. Originally designed for interior designers, architects, and engineers, it is fairly simple to use. You can create basic sketches of buildings and to get the "general idea" of something. Or you can make elaborate crazy designs. Click here to check out their amazing gallery. I set out to build a ship, not by divine command, but by my our initiative. I was able to find a preexisting model and work off of that. The only problem now is that as I try to upload the image of what I did, other formats are not meant for 3D or the .skp format. So I used previous tools such as screencast to capture an image of what I did.


Ta-da! Not the best image quality compared to the amazing 3D work within the program. Additionally I uses many of the descriptions from the book to try and make it accurate.
Go try it!

American Ideals vs. Perceptions

The mid 19th century found the fledgling American nation searching for an identity. Instead of being English, French, German, Dutch, Spanish, Irish, etc, the idea began to emerge that the people of the American continent were a completely new thing altogether. But what? Many suggested the beloved values of their mother countries, only for many philosophers to disregard the very thought. No way were we going to be a "hack" (to use our new lingo)- a clever imitation of something already done. No. We were the pioneers, the independents, the free-thinkers, the rebellious, and the mavericks. Tocqueville and many others set out to define the "American"- some through values and others through events/actions.

So what did they think was American?
- "Conquest"
- Discovery
- Individual development
- Freedom from government and social constraints
- Democracy
- Right to Rise
- Freedom of Speech and Religion
- Courage
- *Progress

Of their entire list, the word "progress" stood out to me. Though many things, ok- everything, has changed since the mid 19th century, change is constant. And I feel that America is a part of that. Now, I understand that we are not the center of most inventions or even all the best ideas. But there is a huge part of our culture that leads right into change; we strive for the next, better thing, the chance to revolutionize a field or market. As I was researching the American frontier and Manifest Destiny, I found it interesting to see how the perception of Americans abroad has also changed. In the beginning, many saw America as the upstart newbies. Who knows if they will last, but they have some great ideas and inexhaustable enthusiasm! Unfortunately, the majority opinion abroad today is very negative. I looked through European blogs and discussion boards and was saddened by the opinions and stereotypes that so many people have of America.

Here are just a few (the more articulate intelligent ones beyond hollywood and cheeseburgers).

* That the US is a nation in the process of killing itself through food.
* That many Americans are controlled entirely by greed and the need for personal materalistic gain.
* That most Americans are only concerned about economy, completely ignoring nature, and not caring about how many species they eradicate.
* That they've got the whole gun and weapons debate completely wrong.
* That the American election campaigns are nothing but one big idol-worshipping and mud wrestling PR show, instead of debates about actual politics.
* That religion plays way too big a role in administrative decisions and affects the American laws way too much.
* That the American economic philosophies are too one sided to cope with the current problems (more or less refusing to adopt a contractionary monetary policy in order to reduce inflation)

I am an American. Proud to be one. However, I admit that we have our faults and failings. America has an ego and a control issue; it is more than just our government too. The American people as individuals are developing those bad habits and traits. Can we save ourselves? What do we need to do to correct our behavior and the world's perception of us?

What does it truly mean to be American?

How To Walk On Water

I recently discovered a wonderful site/blog called Stepcase Lifehack. It is a blog about a little bit of everything from food to productivity and communication and religion. A recent post by one of the editors prompted serious reflection on my part. Here it is:

"If you’re familiar with the stories of Christendom, you probably know the one about St. Peter walking on water. As a kid I heard the story many times and always with the same lesson: Peter was a failure because he grew afraid of the wind and waves.

I knew I’d be very uncomfortable about walking on a constantly heaving wet floor, let alone actual water. But that never came up. None of the pastors I heard recount the story ever praised Peter for having the nerve to get out of the boat to start with. They just warbled on and on about how everybody needed to be less like Peter and have more faith.

Therein lies the reason for the dredging of my childhood and slapping a gasping memory on a page before you.

Peter continues to be degraded for failing to take more than a few steps across a churning sea but I’ve yet to hear somebody mock the dudes who stayed in the boat. Many of the good folks around would have you believe that life is all either hot or cold. Success or failure. Laudable bravery or deplorable cowardice.

Good for them.

Let’s take a break from that mindset and think about the times you’ve gotten out of a boat in your life. Don’t focus on how you didn’t make it more than a few steps away from the boat before you needed to be rescued. Don’t focus on your failure to walk across the ocean. Think instead of all the steps you DID take. Think about how you believed in something enough to do what others said you couldn’t.

You got out of the boat. That’s amazing. You can do it again, too. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Show kindness without an end game — Few are capable of such a thing. When presented with an opportunity to be kind, take it if you’ve got the resources. You’re out of the boat.
2. Complete a cost-free step to achieving a dream — Too often we let money get in the way of progress. Pick a task or group of tasks you need to make a dream happen and complete them. You’re out of the boat.
3. Take a worldwide problem and solve it for somebody in your neighborhood — Changing the world is an impossible task but you can make a difference on your doorstep. In changing the world of another, you’ve changed the world for us all. That’s definitely a getting-out-of-the-boat sort of approach.

What do you think? Should we continue celebrating failure like the gurus tell us to or should we focus on those first successful steps and figure out how to repeat them, learn from them, and add to them?"

Wow! How many times have I been frustrated with Peter without recognizing all the faith and trust he was enacting? Haven't I, while trying to walk on water, been intimidated by the trials and waves that threatened to drown me? Haven't we all?

Mona Lisa Smile and Romanticism

In my Digital Civilization class we have moved onto the Romanticist movement. A movement focused on the experience of nature, on emotion over reason, imagination, art as a divine outlet, rejection of form, importance of self, and the sympathy for the common man. Whew, now that the bulky definition is out of the way, what is it really? Romanticism was that generation's way of interpreting and understanding the world around them as they built off the Enlightenment.

As we discussed Romanticism and hackers today in class, I was reminded of the movie, Mona Lisa Smile. It is the story of an art teacher, Katherine Watson, who goes to teach at a conservative girls college in the 1950's. It is years after the Romantic movement, but you can still see the ideology. The following video has three clips from the movie, all of which are wonderful. The third one (starts at 5:14), however, is the one that I thought of in class today. Ms. Watson is discussing Van Gogh and paint-by-numbers.



Near the end of the movie, she walks into her office only to find a paint-by-numbers painting by each of her students. This is their way of saying that they are unique individuals though they choose to live within the lines. They are "hacking" Van Gogh", but discovering themselves.

Do we not do this today? Take what came before and interpret it based on our bias and understanding? Then we take that interpretation and try to create something new.

Mini Book Club

For a Digital Civilization assignment, we are supposed to highlight five books that relate to the history or context of our class and then read one in small groups. So here are my top five picks (I tried not to pick ones I've already read.)

The Courtier by Baldassare Castiglione 1528
A book that, through fictional conversations, sets forth
the expected behavior of courtier and ladies of the time period.

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
A collection of short stories that depict and satirize
the English society at the time.

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert 1856
The story of an adulterous woman seeking to escape the
drudgery of her middle-class life. The book is a landmark in
the realist ideology.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy 1873
A Russian woman leaves her husband for her lover and thereby
challenges the conventions of her society. It offers an inside
view on the Russian state of affairs of the time.

Moby Dick by Herman Melville 1851
A seemingly simple tale on the surface is really an exploration of complex
themes of social class and status, good and evil, and religion.
It also is a symbol of the American Romanticism movement.

The Family As A Political Unit...

It is no surprise to me, coming from a LDS background wherein the family theme starts off all our of books of scripture, that the changes occurring within the structure of the family were crucial in the Industrial Revolution. Urbanization brought former farming families into the cities to work in factories and such. The family's livelihood no longer rested in their land and garden, but in the 12+ hour work day put in by the parents and older children. My own mother grew up on a ranch, where everyone pitched in and worked on everything that needed to be done. This "ranch" mentality disintegrates in the city when the work at home no longer binds family together in the same way. Furthermore, the feminine and masculine spheres became openly separated, as women went to redefine their roles as women. The rigidity of their position in society froeshadowed the later feminist revolution. Children soon became seen as apart from their parents- the family was responsible for how they turned out. To round out these trends, the idea of individualism spread, threatening to tear apart families.

To suggest socialism and communism before the urbanization and industrialization would have been ridiculous to families. They already worked together for everything they had. Even neighbors were a part of their close knit microeconomies. But the metamorphisis of the family within the cities provided the possibility of new systems. The different classes discussed in the Communist Manifesto were only in that arrangement after the rise of the middle class during the industrial revolution. Then, throught the new connections family members were making (in the workplace, neighborhood, etc) new thoughts and theories could be spread quickly and effectively.

Now, I know that many other events contributed to the formation of socialism and communism- particularly the events of the Russian Revolution and the political atmosphere in the years following. However, I argue that it wouldn't have become as wide-spread or as considered by so many people, if not for the new family structure of the 19th century. What do you think?

Driving Alone

So I went up for conference to West Point to visit some family this weekend. Conference was great! In fact, conference will get it's own post later this week. And family was great- I mean, they're family so I automatically love them. But being there was like being the 11th wheel. Have you ever been the 11th wheel? It is rather frustrating and lonely. And then, of course, I get asked where "my guy" is and I have to refrain from crying and screaming. Then, to improve things, more people get engaged this weekend and one is so excited to be pregnant that she refers to it in every sentence! No, I'm not bitter. I'm scared. Afraid that this disease is going to kill me before I have a chance to become a wife and mother, the only thing I've ever really wanted. Afraid that even if I conquer this condition, no one will ever want or love me anyway. Afraid that when I have kids I will repeat all the mistakes my parents made. I'm afraid of being so alone.

I go to birthday parties.
I go to family reunions.
I go help people move.
I go up for family dinners.
I go attend bridal showers and wedding receptions.
I go to football games and tailgate parties.

But I always drive home alone. And I cry the whole way.

"As I Walked Out One Evening"

For one of my English classes we discussing poetry, so today I have to recite "As I Walked Out One Evening" by W. H. Auden (1940). It is absolutely amazing! So I wanted to share the poem and I hope you will discuss it with me.

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.