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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Grief Sinks In


Love and her little sibling, Grief, leave deep impression on the soul. The deeper the former, the more profound the latter. In the first months, tear-streaked cheeks and haphazard hairstyles are the tell-tale signs, but as time goes on grief begins to sink in like a stone in a pond- the ripples on the surface eventually smooth while under the water the motion continues. Just as Love often gradually permeates our very souls, Grief follows those footprints. Soon those traitorous eyes that leaked at every opportunity are replaced by dry, but hauntingly empty eyes. Tangled hair neglected in grief is tamed and changed into a new style- one that doesn't remind you of Before. Blubbering and spilling it all out soon dries up until the words are cautiously meted out while swallowing the rest. As if we really told others that beyond a predetermined amount of time that we still ache and bleed and cry that it would somehow make it worse.The further the grief sinks in- into our stomach, our bones, and habits, the more the other siblings like Anger and Guilt pay visits. Angry at ourselves for moving on too quickly or slowly, guilty that we can move on at all. Desperately holding on to the grief as the last shred of evidence that we loved at all. Like water carving a canyon, the depth of the change is not evident until the water finally runs it's course. Sometimes it has swept you away until you can finally move on your own while other times it has rocked you into stillness. Either way, when it's gone the final product is fundamentally changed, shaped, carved, and molded into something new. And then the process repeats. Is it worth it? This loss and journey towards transformation? Do the joys of love outweigh the shattering of grief? When love and grief have reshaped our very being, we are forced to relearn the world through those empty eyes and freshly cobbled hearts.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Top Ten Things I Wish I'd Known When I Started Family History

So as many of you know, I have a slight family history/genealogy addiction. 


I am currently in the process of being released from my stake family history calling as I now have other responsibilities and opportunities to serve in Relief Society. However, several friends both within and outside my stake recently were blessed with a family history calling. Yay! Welcome to the wonderful world of family history! A few friends asked for help getting started and asked for a list like this. Though I'm sure I can go into more depth, more explanation type things, this is more mental concepts I wish I'd understood. So here goes, my top ten things I wish I'd known/done when I got started way back when. (This is written from a LDS family history perspective and opinions are solely my own)

1.) Start by throwing out preconceived ideas about how much work has been done/is available in your family tree. Don't limit yourself. 
2.) It's alright to start with what you have and add more details later ( if you only know where they were born, or the month, etc- it's okay)
3.) You do not have to prove everything with a document. Sources are important and good and wonderful, but if you have a first person ("my mother told me", "grandmother wrote this", etc) source that works too. 
4.) The difference between Familysearch & Ancestry- FamilySearch is a universal tree so everyone could be editing it- Ancestry has private trees that only you can edit. Using both creates good check and balance of data. Start with one and then transfer over to back up your work. 
5.) You can EDIT. If you make a mistake, it's not written in stone- all errors can be corrected. So just do your best. 
6.) A Record Hint icon (the blue one) is just as exciting as a Green Temple- lots of possibilities and opportunities to find new people who need their ordinances completed. 
7.) Find an organization or pattern that works for you (i.e. Cleaning up one line at a time, working one generation at a time across all lines,etc) as you start researching and keep notes on where you are working- it will eliminate redundancy.
8.) Stick to standardized formats- Capitalization, punctuation, place names and dates,full name (if you only know the married  last name start there,) etc. 
9.) After all your efforts to be as accurate and complete as possible, turn it over to the Lord. He knows His children perfectly and will make up the difference. 
10.) This is a SPIRITUAL WORK in which technology is a tool. Not the other way around. Listen to the Spirit first and foremost.