Sibling Squabbles and Spiritual Gifts

Sorry, we're missing Cortney in this one, but it's the most recent I have!

I have been blessed with five incredible siblings, each uniquely different and wonderful. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be who I am today without my relationship with each one of them- from the way they tease me mercilessly to how protective we are of each other, from crazy hard times to the best of adventures. Just as with any other relationship, as much as we love each other there can be frustrations and disagreements. Growing up with a group of siblings can mean you always have back up, but it can also mean they know just how to get under your skin. In institute this week we focused on some of the sibling relationships found in the Book of Mormon which gives us insight and inspiration for our own brothers and sisters.

Ok, this is really Helaman teaching his sons, but it's a good family pic, right?

Perhaps the most classic example is found with Nephi and his brothers. Six brothers raised by a prophet and with their unique spiritual gifts, experiences, and of course their agency, we get the chance to watch their lives unfold. We learn the most about Nephi as he is the author of the first two books in the Book of Mormon- we learn he has the gifts of knowledge and obedience, of humility and compassion. Brief insights are shared about Sam (1 Nephi 2:17) telling us that he had the gifts of faith to believe in other's words and obedience. While Sam never becomes the prophet (as their younger brother Jacob does), he never wavers or falters, but is faithful and steadfast. He reminds me of the quote, " If serving is below you, then leadership is beyond you." Perhaps one of his most valuable contributions to his family was his quiet and humble service as he followed the prophets of God within his own family. With wonderful examples like Nephi and Sam, it is no wonder that Jacob became an extraordinary prophet who saw Christ (2 Nephi 11:3), preached powerfully (Jacob 2,5), and contended with the anti-Christ, Sherem (Jacob 7). He always reminds me of Elder Bednar- powerful, a little serious and sober, and incredibly caring and compassionate. These three used their spiritual gifts to bless and lead their families in righteousness.

We see the other side with Laman and Lemuel, who while going through the same experiences as the others, choose not to develop their gifts and instead bring frustration and heartache. It might be easy to wonder if they even have spiritual gifts since all the stories we get are negative, but hidden in there are glimpses of their potential. Laman, as the oldest, was gifted with leadership. Every time he rebelled he was persuasive enough to not only bring his brother into it, but typically many others. We see this in the wilderness ( 1 Nephi 7:6) when two daughters and two sons of Ishmael also follow them. Their father, Lehi, even acknowledged some those of gifts  in 1 Nephi 2 as he compared Laman to a river and Lemuel to the valley, pointing out Laman's strength and might and Lemuel's steadfastness. Instead of turning to the Lord, they turned inward and strength became resentment and steadfastness became stubbornness.

We see another example with the sons of Alma- Helaman, Shiblon, and Corianton. Helaman is entrusted with the plates and later is appointed leader of the 2000 stripling warriors, a man of compassionate strength and a firm testimony. Shiblon is described in Alma 38 as " faithful", "steady", "diligent" and "patient", truly a man without guile. He served a faithful mission and was entrusted with the plates after Helaman's death. Corianton at first appears to be the black sheep; he committed some sins (broke the law of chastity) while on his mission and caused many to not believe the message of the gospel. We are able to see his repentance and through his father's words to him, we see he has a bright and inquisitive mind. Due to many of the questions he had about resurrection and the plan of salvation, we have the wonderful instruction in Alma 40-42. He goes on to become a powerful missionary and to serve the Lord all his days. I myself have not sinned in that manner, but I listened in awe as other missionaries shared stories of personal repentance and the power of the Atonement to cleanse and forgive. In fact, any experience of applying the Atonement is a powerful missionary tool as well as a blessing within our families.

It may be easy to analyze Lehi's or Alma's sons, but it might not be that different from our own families. No one is perfect, but we all have spiritual gifts and unique experiences that can uplift and bless our other family members. When we go through trials and experiences in which we strive to learn all we can and grow, we can then share that understanding and knowledge with our families to support and succor them through their individual trials.

It is my testimony that we are given the parents and siblings we are given for very specific and powerful purposes. Their gifts can complement our own and help us become all we can be. Each of us can decide to use our agency and spiritual gifts to bless, uplift, and help those we love most. And instead of focusing on petty annoying disagreements with them, we can focus on their gifts and talents.