I've been absent for a bit with published posts, but I have half a dozen ones partially done. Lots of thoughts, not enough time. Life in New York feels fast and slow all at the same time. Days go by quickly yet weeks are slow. A New York minute can be both the blink of an eye or an eternity on a stuck train. Then a couple months ago I had a negative experience (I'll share later) in the city and I didn't want to post for a bit. But a couple weeks after that I had some friends come visit the city (Yay!!!) and it helped remind me of all the good things here.
***Side note***All you people thinking about visiting the Big Apple, I live here. Please come visit. You can stay with me. Or if you don't want to stay with me, we can meet up. I can give you suggestions or tips or whatever you want just please come visit***
Anyway, I had two thoughts in particular last night and this morning that impacted me enough to push me to write them down and share. And I felt like I wanted to be a bit more detailed than just a Facebook post would allow.
The first one came last night through the missionaries. I was having them over for dinner (most of my friends in NY are missionaries) and they shared a message about charity. I love this topic and they shared verses in Moroni 7, verses that I have perhaps read a couple hundred times. Starting in verse 42 it reads, "Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope. And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart. If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity."
And the thought that came this time was that often when we are seeking an answer but can't find it, or going through a trial with no end in sight, we sometimes attribute this to a lack of faith. At times this may be the truth- we need to hold on a little longer, trust a little more, believing that the Lord has a plan and the correct timing. But what if, instead of lacking faith, what we are really lacking and therefore preventing ourselves from recognizing an answer or relief -is charity. Without charity we are nothing. Without pure love, we are not acceptable before God. Maybe the Lord wants us to serve a bit more, open our hearts, forgive a trespass so that we can understand his answer. We can do a self reflection using verse 45- "And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." I know I have room for improvement in more than one of those, and just maybe acting on it will shift my heart to understand a bit more of Heavenly Father's love for me.
The second experience happened this morning while working at the Manhattan temple. Oh, how I love the temple. Recently, I was invited to become a trainer on my shift meaning that I have the opportunity and privilege to help train sisters as they start working at the temple and to help those already working to practice or refresh areas they want to work on. This morning I was assigned, along with my new trainee, to be a guide for a sister coming to receive her own endowment. As instructed we were down waiting in the front reception lobby a few minutes before she was expected to arrive at 6:30. When she did not arrive promptly at 6:30, I was not overly concerned. Travel in the city can be particularly difficult especially at that early hour. If they were coming from Queens or Long Island or New Jersey, perhaps they had delays in transit. As 7:00 came and still no sign of the sister, we began to ask the front desk and office if we should call or if they had already called. They said they would reach out, but that we should keep waiting in case they arrived. Meanwhile, the other sister and I continued to greet patrons entering the temple. In between we talked about the temple and spiritual thoughts. I was struck by the glass mosaic in the lobby- one I've seen numerous times, but perhaps not considered why it was here in the entrance to the Lord's house. It is a trifold pane of the Savior on the road to Damascus with two disciples after his resurrection. Upon reflection, it made me think that it was a great step tying our lives outside the temple to the temple itself. Just like the disciples, we do not always know when the Lord is walking with us. Though we may feel His Spirit, we do not always recognize it in our daily travels. However, upon entering the temple we realize that He has been with us all along and never leaves us, and we are now entering his house where we can always find Him. As the minutes continued to pass without any sign or word from this sister, my trainee and I said a prayer asking that they would be blessed and protected and that whatever was happening, it would work out. We talked about how hard the adversary works to keep people from taking important steps. The sister never came. Today at least. We waited the entire time we would have been with her, about 90 minutes. But I had the thought that just as we wanted to be there to receive this sister to the temple, even if she arrived late, how much more so does our Father in Heaven and our Savior wait for us? Though we may be tardy in repenting, or slow in getting our act together, the Lord does not walk away throwing his hands up in frustration that we are not coming. He waits for us. Granted, his waiting comes with a perfect perspective, knowing exactly what we need and when we need it to be able to progress and grow. Ours is a bit more limited, but we can still offer that grace to those around us. I have had the chance to be a guide on other occasions in the temple, times when they come early or a little late, sometimes flustered by obstacles in their path or apologetic for arriving late or without something they need. Other patrons come in from the city with the same urgency and frustration- not wanting to miss a session or having forgotten their recommend. We are reminded that we should wait upon the Lord ( a very active faithful choice), but we should also remember that the Lord waits for us.
Elder Jeffrey R Holland in April 2012 shared this powerful reminder: "However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.
Whether you are not yet of our faith or were with us once and have not remained, there is nothing in either case that you have done that cannot be undone. There is no problem which you cannot overcome. There is no dream that in the unfolding of time and eternity cannot yet be realized. Even if you feel you are the lost and last laborer of the eleventh hour, the Lord of the vineyard still stands beckoning. “Come boldly [to] the throne of grace,” and fall at the feet of the Holy One of Israel. Come and feast “without money and without price” at the table of the Lord."
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