A Quality Life (At 23 or 87)

I find myself a few weeks shy of my 23rd birthday and so it was natural that all the posts about what to do before you turn 23 caught my attention for a few moments. And I say a few moments because no matter what other people's lists are, it seems glaringly obvious that it is so personal and individual for each person. Everyone is at a different stage, at their own pace, dancing to their own tune, so why would we all be in sync for major (or minor) milestones?

I was in Houston as a missionary when Taylor Swift's "22" came out and I was, of course, at the beautiful age of 22. But it wasn't me. I've never had the desire to dress up like a hipster or fall in love with a stranger. I don't dance like my age, just like me, which I will probably do until I'm 90. And I think everyone has those moments of feeling happy, free, confused, and lonely no matter their age. So it plays out naturally for me that various lists of things to do before 23 also aren't a great fit for me. Sure I've read a list of classic books, got a passport, learned a new language, eaten several jars of Nutella by myself, worked hard at a job I love, and had breakfast at midnight just because. I can do a lot of various things- check things off a list- like learn how to say "I love you" in 50 languages ( I'm only at eleven languages so far). But doing things and going places are not necessarily a gateway to becoming someone, and not just someone, but the woman I want to be. When Alice in Wonderland was trying to figure out which direction to go she asks if the Cheshire cat can help her. 
He responds, "Well that depends on where you want to get to."

Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as...
Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go."

If it doesn't matter where we go or who we become then we could go any direction. I don't want to just end up somewhere, end up becoming someone by accident. I don't want to just wander my way through life. There is a sense of joy in purposely building a quality life and character. 

I re-read this part from M. Russell Ballard's book, Our Search For Happiness, "I prefer to think that the quality of our lives has more to do with substance than style. A quality life is one that positively influences others and makes the world around it a better place in which to live. A quality life is one that is constantly growing, expanding its horizons and enlarging its borders. A quality life is one that is filled with love and loyalty, patience and perseverance, kindness and compassion. A quality life is one that is based on eternal potential and confined to this only. A quality life is a life well-lived."

I'm not sure if I can make only one list on how to obtain a quality life. In fact, I've made lists, notes, and poems, not to mention thoughts, throughout my life on what a quality life looks like for me. And through each year and every experience I gain a better understanding of what I want as well as who I want to be. With someone else, with my family, or by myself- I am solely responsible for who I become. I cannot control other's actions or when certain things might occur in my life. However, I love a good list so here is my list of things I want to reach for in no particular order, maybe before I'm 23, or 32, or 55. Maybe I've already been working on it or it's something I want to start, places to go, or things to do, but mostly who I want to be. 

1. Learn how to forgive. Really forgive others no matter what.

2. Become comfortable in my own skin- at every age.

3. Visit people I love- in other states and countries.

4. Volunteer in the community no matter where I live.

5. Be self-sufficient and self-reliant, but know how to accept love and help from others.

6. Build something that lasts. Or better yet, build everything I build to last.

7. Learn another language. And treasure the ones I already know : )

8. Be Brave. 

9. Love someone even if they don't love me in return.

10. Create a loving and happy home of my own.

11.Push myself to do something I once thought I couldn't do.

12. Never stop learning.

13. Discover and rediscover the wonder in the simple treasures.

14. Learn when to let go and what to hold on to.

15. Write more handwritten notes.

16. Fight for what matters to me.

17. Know where I came from.

18. Make a dream come true. And help make someone else's dream come true as well.

19. Overcome a fear.

20. Live true to what I believe.

21. Be there for the people who matter most to me.

22. Be a woman of light.