I've ushered in the new year with a lot of purpose, direction, and power. my theme for the year is Semper Fi (which means Always Faithful in Latin). Always faithful to the Lord, faithful and true to myself, and faithful to my commitments and mission. The latter will soon include the United States Marine Corps as I made the decision a few months ago to enlist. Confirmation of this decision has been overwhelming and humbling as I truly feel that this is where Heavenly Father wants me to be. What an incredible blessing in my life to feel so directed towards the next phase/step in my life on my journey to become who I need to be!
Mirroring real life, my excitement about and commitment to this comes first. It is followed by some nervousness, some worry, and some frustration. Just starting the process has been a process. Since I'm being open and vulnerable, I might as well share, right? Everything is pretty much in order, except I need to lose some more weight to meet eligibility requirements. As soon as I knew where I needed to be, I single-mindedly set to the task at hand. I carefully track my eating, train at the gym 5-6 times a week, with a trainer 2-3 of those days, I've become a marathon water-drinker, and very protective of getting enough rest. And I've lost weight. Slowly. I mean painfully slow. So I decided to go Paleo (after trying the military diet several times), found another mentor, added a vision board and have gotten so intense with my daily declarations that I've lost my voice.
This week I reached a point of frustration and desperation as I poured my heart out to Heavenly Father. " I'm doing everything you asked me to do and I'm stuck! I know I'm doing your will so why can't I progress faster? I've counseled with you on every step and I'm not reaching the goals." The reply didn't come all at once, but rather over the course of several days and small impressions. I'd like to share them as I feel that they will apply to this and many other situations of life.
* On Sunday, President Russell M Nelson gave a wonderful devotional and one part specifically hit me. He said, "Expect and prepare to accomplish the impossible. Abrahamic tests did not stop with Abraham." Wow. And the words "this will be one" came to mind almost as if he had said it. If this seems challenging, it's because it is!! And that's alright, because I CAN do hard things!!!
* Maybe we say this all the time. Maybe we say this as an excuse when we don't put in 110% effort. But mostly I think this is true. God has his own timing. It's not that I'm off course, not good enough, not working hard enough. I have to constantly remind myself that God is a comprehensive planner- He is more focused on the process and the transformation and less so on the results.
* Practice makes perfect, right? If that works for piano lessons and learning languages, it most definitely applies to discerning promptings and obedience. If this whole thing was an answer to prayer and a spiritual impression to act, then it follows that it will be made up of smaller steps and promptings. Just like with your parents, you think you're learning one thing, but you're really learning three other things. As I learn to heed these impressions, I develop not only discernment, but obedience, faith, and trust in the Lord.
*Just last night I had the thought, "While looking forward, are you trying to skip what you still need to do right where you are?" Perhaps in the process of preparing to go where I need to go next, I've been in a hurry to be done with right now. There are still experiences I need to have, tools and skills I need to gain, people I need to help, uplift, and serve.
So I'm working on that whole patience thing and sometimes reminders like this can be frustrating in these situations. That doesn't change the fact that they're true. I still lack the magical ability to snap my fingers and erase the frustration or speed up the process, but I'm going to cut myself some slack. I am enough. I am listening to the promptings and following them. I am all in, doing everything that lies within my power to do and pleading with all my heart for what doesn't. And in the end, isn't that what He asks of us?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete