You can be lonely and sad while married or single just like you can be happy and joyful when single or married. Somewhere along the line, we've started to separate into groups based on our relationship status and assigning emotions and desires to that. Some people have starting yelling that those who marry young are "missing out" or are "settling". The angry voices return with the idea that those who remain unmarried later in life are selfishly ambitious and absorbed in their careers. And it keeps going back and forth. So I say, this Valentine's Day, let's show a little love all around and not assume the character or dreams of someone based on their marital status.
I have a lot of wonderful friends who are married and have children. In fact, I love following their blogs and facebook posts full of cute pictures and funny things kids say. And more than that, I love watching as they grow as individuals, as couples, and as a family. There is a beauty in the creation of a home and a family. I'm grateful for all the wonderful examples I have in my life of wonderful couples. This quotes by Jeffrey R. Holland reminds us how brave and faithful it is to commit to marriage and family.
Love is a fragile thing, and some elements in life can try to break it. Much damage can be done if we are not in tender hands, caring hands. To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship. It is a real act of faith—faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything—all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys—with another person.
No serious courtship or engagement or marriage is worth the name if we do not fully invest all that we have in it and in so doing trust ourselves totally to the one we love. You cannot succeed in love if you keep one foot out on the bank for safety’s sake. The very nature of the endeavor requires that you hold on to each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together.
On the reverse side, couples need to take care not to minimize the contributions, dreams, and/or struggles of those who are single. Every situation in different. Most single people are actively involved in their families- with parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Many are involved in careers and within the community. While perhaps our understanding of marriage and child-rearing is not as developed, our insights and contributions (both professionally and personally) are significant. The ability and capacity to love is enlarged through many of the varied and multifaceted experiences of single life. Please remember that it takes courage to actively date, to put yourself out there constantly. And it takes a lot of heart to faithfully press on when dreams and plans don't turn out as expected. In the same talk, Jeffrey Holland also said: "Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Or, to phrase that more positively, Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness for you and for your sweetheart. How should I love thee? As He does, for that way “never faileth.”
Love comes in many forms, at different stages in our lives. It's my wish this Valentine's Day, this month, this year- that we recognize the love for everyone regardless of our differences and focus on the elements that bind us together. Love is the great equalizer- it doesn't matter where you live, your age, sex, appearance, relationship status, etc- it will always bring us together.
You certainly do have a lot of heart K! You've been through so much (more than I am guessing you ever let on) and yet you remain positive, hopeful and optimistic. You're an example to us all.
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