Home "Making"

Home

can be a place.

It can be a person or a group of people.

And I am of the opinion that it can also be a belief or knowledge.

Laying that broad definition aside, I believe that it is an innate human desire to create. For me specifically, to create a home. To physically make a space not solely for shelter, but a safe haven, a place to create, a place to worship, a place to live freely.

President Dieter F Uchtdorf once said, " The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent desire to create something that did not exist before..."

 

 

And I am the proud new occupant of 608 square feet of beautiful opportunities.

I am a homemaker.

 

It might be easy when we hear the title of "homemaker" to solely envision cooking, cleaning, and child care (unless you are way to literal and are thinking architect). Based on your experience, you might be thinking of a mother (or father) who does not work out of the home. Or you could be thinking of the mother who knows 10 ways to make lasagna, volunteers with the PTA, and makes her own soap. And anywhere in between. I am grateful for all parents, who stay at home or work; this isn't a commentary on stay at home or working moms because I love and appreciate the sacrifices of both sides. What I am trying to say is that there is yet another definition for "homemaker"- very literally, one who makes a house a home.

I'm not sure there is any science or explanation for the profound difference between a house and a home, but I know there is one. Maybe it's the amount of laughter and tears, or music and passion. Maybe it's the comforts and conveniences. How each individual and family does that is unique of course. One part is cleanliness and organization. Perhaps another is decoration. A big one is light. Those physical factors do play a part in the atmosphere of a home--physical things we can carefully plan and arrange. However, overall, I think it is the Spirit in the home. A very tangible, if not measurable, peace and joy. A very real feeling that envelopes visitors and makes them comfortable and well,... at home. There is definitely something divine about the mission to "make" a home, a sacred responsibility to make a sanctuary from the world.

It has been exciting to move into my new apartment and unpack, to see my sunflower canisters in the kitchen, my sister's artwork on my walls, my rocking chair nestled in the corner with my favorite afghan, the diffuser quietly humming, and of course, my piles of books everywhere (because I still need a bookshelf). Wow, I sound like an old spinster.  But more than the sheer excitement of the adventure, there is something so profound in the creation of my home. From listening to conference talks as I get ready in the morning, pouring my heart in prayer in every room from the kitchen to the bedroom, studying the scriptures sprawled out on the air mattress, and reading my favorite books curled up with hot cider, I can feel that wonderful peace and joy spreading to every nook and cranny.

As my life grows, changes, and evolves over the coming years, I'm sure my home"making" will as well. Just as it has from going to college and having roommates, then serving a mission and having companions. And I look forward to everything stage of home creation that is still to come.

 

 

 

A Step In The Dark

When I was a little girl, one of my sisters (who shall remain unnamed, even though you all pretty much know who) loved to scare me. Jumping out from behind doors, hiding under the bed, telling me scary stories about a crazy boogie man that ate little girls when they didn't go to bed on time. It was exacerbated by my fear of the dark, a fear that has not completely left me even in adulthood. In the light I can see where I'm going, I know which direction to take. I love the warmth of the sun on my skin and the golden glow cast as the sun rises and sets. Those same physical properties apply spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I like to know where I'm going and what is going to happen. I prefer to be warm and safe and know the end point. But life doesn't usually work that like. In fact, if we could see and understand everything, there would be no testing. There would be no need for faith.

But we do need faith.
And courage.

Two weeks ago I packed up everything I owned, shipped it out on a truck, and flew 1700 miles to a place I've never lived before, where I have no family and only a couple friends. I started a new job full-time and I am in the process of setting up my own apartment. That might be closer to a leap than just a step into the dark. After all, there are no miracles until after the trials of faith. Like stepping into a room and fumbling a bit before finally finding the light switch. And light has indeed flooded the way before me as I've made these steps. Sitting in the first dedicatory session of the Gilbert Arizona Temple, I felt an overwhelming peace and assurance wash over me. I know I am where I am supposed to be. I know I am where the Lord needs me to be at this next stage of my life. And I cannot even fathom all He has in store for me.

 "If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me." 

- Moroni 7:33

Fahrenheit 451 Is Coming True!

I am outraged and appalled at this developing news. In a recent conversation with co-workers (two teachers moonlighting as waitresses because teachers are undervalued), I have discovered some disturbing changes to the federal and state curriculum for middle school and high school students. 

If you remember correctly, Fahrenheit 451 is a dystopian novel by Ray Bradbury that takes place in a society where, over the decades, books were ruthlessly abridged to accommodate a shorter attention span and watered down to avoid disturbing the status quo. Eventually firemen start burning books to appease the public. Thankfully books are not being burned in your local high school (yet!). However, new changes to the curriculum call for only one fiction novel to be read during the school year and the rest to be replaced with "information texts" such as non-fiction articles, letters, speeches, and if you are lucky and your teacher fights for it, maybe one short story! Their reasoning? To improve reading comprehension based more on "real life" examples. They said that since attention span is shorter in students they need to constrict the breadth of study to help them develop better comprehension....#$$#&%&^%@*. I don't even know what that word would be except frustration in symbols. 

One of the teachers, who teaches junior English, is only able to teach To Kill A Mockingbird this year for the American Literature course. Is it just me or what about The Scarlet Letter, As I Lay Dying, Their Eyes Were Watching God, The Great Gatsby, and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn??!?!? You know- Hemingway, Hawthorne, Zora Neale Hurston, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and a little person named Mark Twain? 

Now, I'm not saying that studying letters from Abigail Adams to her husband and the Gettysburg address is somehow wrong. They are a beautiful part of our literary history, but it is much harder to connect to a character in two pages versus two hundred. And when a student cannot connect with a character or relate to the material, it will go in one ear and out the next day. For me, that is the beautiful part of literature- connecting to a world and a person far away and yet feeling that my situation and feelings are understood, Being transported to another world and time, and somehow realizing the universality of emotions. Of course we will have our favorites and even some we dislike. I mean, Siddhartha, my freshmen year? Thumbs down. And Stranger by Camus? Bleh. For my senior year, 1984 gave me nightmares. But, I learned valuable things about literature and myself through those experiences. There is something inherently character building in the exploration of literature. We discover ourselves, what we believe and what we like as we place our minds in a thousand different contexts. 

So what do we do? Speak out. Talk to your school board. Promote reading in your community. Volunteer at the schools. Let the world know that we will not allow this to happen. Even if I really wanted to burn Lord of the Flies after reading it sophomore year.

Wednesday is for Love

Wednesday is for Love.

And so is Monday morning.

And August. Yes, the whole month.

And the dead of winter when your fingers are half frozen.

And finals week, tax day, and black Friday- are all for Love.

Here's to not needing just one day a year to celebrate how much we love, but taking advantage of 365 days of precious moments. Wound up in and wrapped around, love is the fabric of our tapestries. 

All the Pennies by Mindy Gledhill

Guess What I Learned Today?

I have a confession.

My name is Kristi and I have philogia.

No, that is not some strange disease or skin rash. It is the Greek word for the love of learning and I have a bad case of it. Philology today means the study of literary texts and linguistics, but in old Greek it meant the love of learning and literature. See- we are learning something all ready.

I'm a learning addict. I crave learning something all the time. Like all last week studying the lesson for Sunday school (mind you- I'm not the teacher) on the contrast between Cain and Enoch, their obedience, willingness, and purpose of heart. Then tie in the father of King Lamoni in Alma 22 and I was in heaven. And reading fours books at the same time, depending on where I am in the house, in my car, etc. And I just learned the other day about the "pink lakes" of the world that are caused by the presence of algae that produces carotenoids.

You all probably knew that about me already, but when I finally just accept it then it's not so overwhelming when I keep finding things I want to go back to school for, or get training in. I've got a list a mile long of everything I want to study, practice, assimilate, etc. I want to go to cosmetology school, finish my teaching degree, and learn eight more languages just to mention a few. But just reading or learning isn't enough- I have to apply it.

Going to BYU for my freshmen year, a book called "Learning in the Light of Faith" was required reading and it has shaped my perspective on learning and scholarship through the lens of faith and discipleship. It taught me that my love of learning was a divine trait, one I inherited from a Heavenly Father who loves knowledge infinitely. The Lord sees no conflict between faith and learning in a broad curriculum:

". . . that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;

Of things both in heaven and in earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms. . . .

And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning even by study and also by faith.(D&C 88:78-79, 118.)

Just last night at work, one of my coworkers (aware of my religious beliefs) asked me if I had seen the Ham/Nye debate which launched a discussion on faith and science. We talked about learning through one method doesn't make it better than the other and how not being open-minded enough to accept truth from another perspective leaves us ignorant. I shared my experience as a scientist and how the more I learn about science, the deeper my faith in God becomes.

One of my favorite talks is by Elder Neal A. Maxwell called "The Disciple-Scholar" in which he points out the gradations of truth:

 "There is no democracy among truths. They are not of equal significance. These gradations might be represented geometrically by a wide circle. The outer edges of the circle would include truths which are accurate descriptions of reality. These facts, such as airline schedules and exchange rates, have only a momentary utility and relevancy, a short shelf life. They are useful, and they cannot be ignored, but they are simply not on the same footing as other kinds of truth... The next concentric circle inward would include more important truths. These are proximate and important truths, however, not ultimate truths. Some of these, for instance, are verifiable by the very serviceable scientific method. These truths can be very useful and valuable. For instance, in the realm of astrophysics they tell us much about the what and how of the universe, but they cannot (and do not even presume to) tell us why it exists. In this same middle circle, the suburbs, so to speak, there is a churning and revising among some of these truths. Life in the suburbs may mean one can be "ever learning" but still "never able to come to a knowledge of the truth" (2 Tim. 3:7). Even so, these truths are important and valued. In the very center of the circle of truth lie the "deep things of God" (1 Cor. 2:10, 14). These come to us only by revelation from God, and they clearly have a greater significance than other truths and fleeting facts. These truths concern things as they really were, really are, and really will be (D&C 93:24). There is constancy, not churning, among these strategic truths. These truths, for instance, are revealed from God and tell us why the universe exists. They are also very personal and crucial, such as is contained in Enoch's exclamation (see Moses 7:30). They represent the highest order of truth. These truths are likewise verifiable. Jesus describes how: "If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself" (John 7:17; see also Alma 32:26-43). Thus we constantly need to distinguish between the truths which are useful and those which are crucial, and between truths which are important and those which are eternal. "

This post has turned into more than I thought when I started, but it's that just the beauty of the evolution of thought and learning? I meant to just gush about my adoration of learning, but I guess the heart of that thought was the true joy I get from learning any and all truths- scientific and eternal, literary and linguistic, social and spiritual.

The Night the World Stood Still

So, I'm going through mission pictures and memorabilia in my scrapbooking efforts and I found lots of treasures. Including several pieces of poetry I wrote throughout my mission. I just wanted to share one of my favorites that I wrote around Christmas 2012. Hope you like it.

The Night the World Stood Still

A star was shining bright

foretelling a son to be born that night.

The quiet village now filled to the max

with bustling strangers anxious to be taxed.

Coming and going 'til numb

unaware that the King had come.

Then glorious angels began to sing,

to humble shepherds saying 

"a joyous message we bring."

Off to the stable,

on their knees they did bow

before a tiny baby

And they didn't know how,

but somehow that night,

a babe in a manager

 came to make the world right.

The wind blew back and forth

across the Sea late one night

with frantic fishermen

working without light.

When out in the waves

a bright figure appeared!

And as He drew near

an apostle was heard

to say "It is Jesus,

and upon the water He goes!"

"Come unto me." said the Savior

and over the side Peter did go.

Step after step with wondering awe

until with the wind he started to fear.

So he began to sink for his doubting fear

til the Lord reached out saying

"I'm here."
As the waves slowed and the winds were calm,

twelve disciples stood in wonder

of Gilead's balm.

A couple years later

and again by the night,

The Savior knelt in a garden

bearing the full burden's might. 

Left alone by the world

yet watched by a heavenly host,

his disciples had failed

when he needed them most.

Unnoticed, unheard outside Jerusalem's walls,

our beloved Redeemer

atoned for the Fall.

And that night when the

world stood still,

a quiet voice cried out

"I will."

A Quality Life (At 23 or 87)

I find myself a few weeks shy of my 23rd birthday and so it was natural that all the posts about what to do before you turn 23 caught my attention for a few moments. And I say a few moments because no matter what other people's lists are, it seems glaringly obvious that it is so personal and individual for each person. Everyone is at a different stage, at their own pace, dancing to their own tune, so why would we all be in sync for major (or minor) milestones?

I was in Houston as a missionary when Taylor Swift's "22" came out and I was, of course, at the beautiful age of 22. But it wasn't me. I've never had the desire to dress up like a hipster or fall in love with a stranger. I don't dance like my age, just like me, which I will probably do until I'm 90. And I think everyone has those moments of feeling happy, free, confused, and lonely no matter their age. So it plays out naturally for me that various lists of things to do before 23 also aren't a great fit for me. Sure I've read a list of classic books, got a passport, learned a new language, eaten several jars of Nutella by myself, worked hard at a job I love, and had breakfast at midnight just because. I can do a lot of various things- check things off a list- like learn how to say "I love you" in 50 languages ( I'm only at eleven languages so far). But doing things and going places are not necessarily a gateway to becoming someone, and not just someone, but the woman I want to be. When Alice in Wonderland was trying to figure out which direction to go she asks if the Cheshire cat can help her. 
He responds, "Well that depends on where you want to get to."

Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as...
Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go."

If it doesn't matter where we go or who we become then we could go any direction. I don't want to just end up somewhere, end up becoming someone by accident. I don't want to just wander my way through life. There is a sense of joy in purposely building a quality life and character. 

I re-read this part from M. Russell Ballard's book, Our Search For Happiness, "I prefer to think that the quality of our lives has more to do with substance than style. A quality life is one that positively influences others and makes the world around it a better place in which to live. A quality life is one that is constantly growing, expanding its horizons and enlarging its borders. A quality life is one that is filled with love and loyalty, patience and perseverance, kindness and compassion. A quality life is one that is based on eternal potential and confined to this only. A quality life is a life well-lived."

I'm not sure if I can make only one list on how to obtain a quality life. In fact, I've made lists, notes, and poems, not to mention thoughts, throughout my life on what a quality life looks like for me. And through each year and every experience I gain a better understanding of what I want as well as who I want to be. With someone else, with my family, or by myself- I am solely responsible for who I become. I cannot control other's actions or when certain things might occur in my life. However, I love a good list so here is my list of things I want to reach for in no particular order, maybe before I'm 23, or 32, or 55. Maybe I've already been working on it or it's something I want to start, places to go, or things to do, but mostly who I want to be. 

1. Learn how to forgive. Really forgive others no matter what.

2. Become comfortable in my own skin- at every age.

3. Visit people I love- in other states and countries.

4. Volunteer in the community no matter where I live.

5. Be self-sufficient and self-reliant, but know how to accept love and help from others.

6. Build something that lasts. Or better yet, build everything I build to last.

7. Learn another language. And treasure the ones I already know : )

8. Be Brave. 

9. Love someone even if they don't love me in return.

10. Create a loving and happy home of my own.

11.Push myself to do something I once thought I couldn't do.

12. Never stop learning.

13. Discover and rediscover the wonder in the simple treasures.

14. Learn when to let go and what to hold on to.

15. Write more handwritten notes.

16. Fight for what matters to me.

17. Know where I came from.

18. Make a dream come true. And help make someone else's dream come true as well.

19. Overcome a fear.

20. Live true to what I believe.

21. Be there for the people who matter most to me.

22. Be a woman of light.