Dear reader (and me)-
Can I express the consternation over a certain area of annoyance and frustration in my life? I guess this is my blog so I'll write almost whatever I choose, but still. Any comfort and or advice would be helpful.
I'm frustrated with teachers trying to educate without caring to know what is going on in my life. Without knowing to some extent the needs and struggles of the very students they teach it is hard to connect and build relationships. And without some level of a relationship, students don't want to learn or even will resist what is being taught. Some students will strive to learn no matter what because something in them loves to learn despite faulty relationships with professors. But many will withdraw from the professor, stop commenting in class, but still doing readings and assignments. I recognize that it is difficult for a professor, especially one on our extensive campus, to meet and understand each of their students. However, it has been even more difficult for me to find a professor who is actually caring what I'm saying as an individual, both in class and when I visit their office. I am just one more student in one of their classes, one more appointment they need to deal with- maybe smart, sassy, annoying, argumentative, or challenging.
At what point should I sit down, look them in the eyes, and tell them what is really going on in my life? That life is chewing me up right now and I'm fighting with everything I have to keep going. I've found some professors helpful when I approach them with a particular problem, but others I avoid approaching in those circumstances because of our relationship. I have a certain professor this semester for a class I really like. She is very welcoming of us to her office hours and encourages us to email with questions and for feedback about our papers. Yet, in class she will cut me off, tell me I'm wrong, ignore me completely or just my comment, and singles me out for mistakes. There is no way I want to go to her office to discuss my paper, much less my family and personal problems. Yet if she knew what I was dealing with, would she be nicer?
Another example. I needed to meet with one of my major advisers to get a signature on some paperwork. They rescheduled with me FIVE times. I finally waited outside the office first thing in the morning to catch this counselor. I know that was probably annoying for them, but so is being rescheduled five times!!!
It is unreasonable to want a professor or counselor to actually care about who I am, in a holistic way? Is it feasible for a professor to want to talk to me and become a friend? I certainly hope so.
Sincerely, Frustrated Student
No it's not unreasonable! I definitely wouldn't take things personally though - I'm sure that if the know how you felt that they would be more considerate in the future. Sometimes they simply don't realize what is happening, and they are human too.
ReplyDeleteKristi, I'm sorry. We definitely have a tendency to forget the personal in the professional world, but I think school has both personal and professional elements (I'm thinking of my kindergarten teacher who wiped my tears on several occasions).
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm at a loss for what to do with this world, I sometimes just imagine my ideal world. If life were ideal, we would care about each other as humans regardless of our relationship.
I know that my fellow professors really do care about individuals, and we all know that people have circumstances that can make school work suddenly become very low in priority. Whenever students let me know about their situations, I always try to work with them. Just be sure you give them a chance to know what is going on. I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
ReplyDeleteWell on one hand, you're paying for the relationship - literally, but on the other hand the job your paying for is for them to teach you, there way, not yours...
ReplyDeleteYou have the right, often, to switch to a different professor for the same course material - I've done it. But you don't have a right to expect your teacher to be you're "snuggie" from when you first learned how to walk.
Some of the best relationships are based on mutual hatred... (look at Celebrity Marriages - they keep going strong!) But seriously, some professors take a student at their talent level and begin "clean up work" because they assume you understand that you're already good enough not to need them to remind you of it.
Kristi, I know at least a little of what you're feeling right now--recently it has felt like life has pushed me down and stomped on me. I've felt at times that I was going to lose it because the pressure of school, work, and trying personal circumstances was just too much to deal with. I have had to realize that people (including professors) really do care; they won't just say, "Too bad--suck it up" when approached with an explanation of your difficult circumstances. I agree with Dr. Burton on this one. Though it may be difficult, I suggest letting your professors know; I, like Dr. Burton "think you will be pleasantly surprised" at their efforts to work with you. I was.
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